Let Us Pray...

I'll pray for you.
You who have no filters and say what's on your mind because you think you have the right.

I'll pray for you.
You who are one way to my face and another behind my back.

I'll pray for you.
You who would bully another with words or actions.

I'll pray for you.
You who pit one against another.

I'll pray for you.
You who cry out for attention to fill the void in your life.

I'll pray for you.
You who carry the burden of sadness and grief.

I'll pray for you.
You who think it's your place to judge another.

I'll pray for you.
You who give wondering only what you'll get.

I'll pray for you.
You who fertilize the seed of anger.

I'll pray for you.
You who didn't get what you needed.

I'll pray for you.
You who haven't yet learned to love.

I'll pray for you.
You who cannot see beyond the surface.

I'll pray for you.
You who think that you're the only one; so unique.

I'll pray for you.
You who think the journey is far to long and difficult.

I'll pray for you.
You who read this and think it's about you.

I'll pray for you.
You who haven't yet found a God to give it to.

I'll pray for you.
and
You pray for me too.

Namaste.

HAPPY!!

So I ran into the guy sporting a soul patch yesterday and there's something a little different about him. His energy is lighter. He seems a little happier. Good for you, mister!!
He says he bought a gift for me and in true Soulpatch-guy fashion he thought better of it and was going to keep it for himself. Hmph. I snatched it right from him. Yes, yes, it IS the thought that counts, but as my dearest friend would say, howevahhh...

The gift was a book. And not and audio book either! Woo-Hoo Soulpatch-guy! The book is written by Alex A. Lluch and Dr. Helen Eckmann and is titled Simple Principles To Enjoy Life and Be HAPPY. (I knew there was something different about him!) Yea, HAPPY. Not Happy. Or happy. But HAPPY. There's also a little emblem thingy in the top right corner that says "All you need to know". Hmmmmm.
All I need to know about the HAPPY, delivered by Soulpatch-guy? Curiosity got the best of me. With the book in my hand, I quickly turned on my heel, thanked him for the book and for thinking of me, and set off to read this HAPPY manual.

Much to my surprise every single thing that I need to know about being HAPPY is contained inside of these 272 pages! Hmph!
Eat well!
Get enough rest!
Move it!
Meditate!
Organize your environment! (this includes your schedule, I think)
Forgive yourself and others!
Focus on solutions, not problems!
Release the need to be correct!
Donate! Time, Talent, and Treasure!
Cry when you need to!
Don't keep score!
Be aware that you are what you think!
Soooo....
Love the person in the mirror!
Don't compare yourself to others!
And love this...
If you are unhappy about something, do something about it!
This is a great reminder that you are in charge of your own HAPPY! I am in charge of my own HAPPY. That is great news. That means we can be as HAPPY as we decide to be!

Although the book mentions nothing about egg shakers or the sacred chocolate supply, still it was spot on.
So as we enter the 4th quarter of the DO OVER called last January, what are you doing to get a hold of your HAPPY?
I still have a lot of work to do. I still tend to get derailed easily in many areas. Time to get back to the business of this DO OVER.
A good start will be some gratitude.
THANK YOU SOULPATCH-GUY!

Now I think I'll have a walk along the Manasquan Reservoir.

Say It Loud, Say It Clear.

Do you have a thought?
Do you have an opinion?
Are you one who boldly shares your thoughts and opinions or do you temper them because someone might be offended? Have you gone (hack cough ahem) PC like the majority? Or do you express what ever is inspired from within?

I know this guy, yea, "I have this friend" who's all the time stirring up some controversy or other. He posts stuff on face book about politics, religion, spirituality, and things of this nature that most of us are hesitant to engage over.
I applaud his bravery. I admire his audacity and ability to spark intelligent debate.
He is rather intelligent and very respectful in his postings. He welcomes the opposing viewpoint without any contempt.

Even though we often disagree, (dear friend, there IS a God, She DOES adore you and I do lean a bit further to the right of center than you)his posts and musings often cause me to think, rethink, and examine my own convictions. Is this such a bad thing? Some don't see it that way. They get very upset, even a bit huffy once the nerve has been struck.

My question here is, why does it need to be offensive when someone has thoughts and belief systems differing from our own? Once my own life experience coupled with my own research has formed in me a thought process, moral compass etc. someone else's differing opinion can only do one thing.
That is to cause me to compare and examine my own. This will yield one of two results. I will either acquiesce to a new thought resulting in my own growth and further development or my convictions will be affirmed.
Sounds like a win win to me.

When the nerve gets struck, that is always, I mean inVARiably, my cue to examine what the heck is going on. When something resonates strongly for positive or negative, I need to check it out. I don't need (though sometimes I do) to get huffy or offended about it.

There's really no right or wrong here. There is only universal truth. That my friends, is so large, so vast, and so infinitesimal all at the same time that in our human condition we each only see pieces of it at a time. Indeed it's like three blind men looking at an elephant. One feels ears, one feels a trunk, the other a tail. All are correct. None are wrong. They are just seeing pieces of the whole.

So, go ahead. Tell me what's on your mind. Don't go vanilla. Sing your song out loud like the cardinals do from the top of the trees. Don't worry that I may not agree, but don't mind either. It's just that I may have not made my way around to that part of the elephant yet.

On Letting Go....

Well this just stinks out loud.
But if I'm going to have a proper DO OVER, I've got to get in front of this thing once and for all.

It's all about the letting go. Apparently it's time to learn the lesson because there is yet another opportunity for me to do so presently.
So let go, I shall.
And being the self appointed Empress of All Optimism, I will also find the good in this situation by the end of this blog.

If you have children, I think it will be easy to relate. The letting go is so very difficult. Sure they can GO. Brian went to camp, Jacki to Kentucky, Maggi will go to Intermediate School in two short weeks. That's not really the going that I mean.

They get into situations. They make sketchy decisions. They sometimes get mixed up with the wrong friends. Sometimes they get mistreated. That's the part that this Momma has the most trouble with. (they don't call me Smother Bear for nothing!)

Who's with me here? If any of you know the formula for stepping in times letting go equaling the square root of a very balanced, confident young adult, minus all the drama please tell me now! The first one to crack this could really help the masses!

One of my children got mistreated by an adult. No, it's nothing too serious. But it is certainly taking all of my might not to march right up to this person and tell him what's on my mind. Except for one thing. I was asked not too with a pretty please. Okay. A public blog will do just fine instead.

My question is, where exactly is that line?
The real question is, when does Momma need to step in and really help her child as opposed to step in and satisfy her own need to create the illusion of control?
I am not the mother who will fight with teachers for 2 points higher on a test so my kid gets the A. I am not the mom who will come banging your door down if our kids fight. I am not even the mom who will come to you if our kids get into trouble together. I won't do their homework. I'm not even the mom who will clean their rooms anymore.

I am the mom who will allow my kids to take responsibility for their study habits. I am also the mom who will ask my kid what his part in the fight was with your kid. I will hold my kid accountable when he or she gets in trouble with your kid. I will allow my kid to find their own stinkin' socks!

But now my kid has a job and her boss is a jerk. My child (who will only be a "child" for another 2 and a half months!)was mistreated by an adult. Here's the moment for Jacki to really shine. I am confident that she will.
I am confident that she'll find an even better job. She will make her way. She's brilliant and beautiful. She's got piles of common sense and rises to the challenge.
She will handle this. She will learn and grow to even more brilliance.

Me? I suppose I'll just sit back and watch. I'll be here with a shoulder and an ear. I'll catch the tears if need be. I'll wait till she comes to me with it.

This is my point. Sitting back is so NOT what I want to do! I want to walk in that place and throttle that guy. I want to shout at the other kid's mother that my kid got into trouble with. I want to correct the kid who fought with my kid.
ET CETERA!!!

But I won't. It's a new day.
It's a great day for a DO OVER.
Today I will take a really long walk in the park, maybe even with weights in each hand. That ought to expel all of this gnarly energy. Then I will come home and do an inner peace meditation.

THEN I will be grateful that life provides not only opportunities for my children to grow, but for my growth too.

(and I got the broccoli rabe secret already anyway!)

Ode To My Boy

My son will come home tomorrow
He's been away all summer so
I borrowed
His Ipod touch

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
He'll clear away the garbage
and get the lawn mowed
Before lunch

And then we'll go out and play
All day
At the park or beach
We can take a big hike
Ride a bike
Or play balllllll
OOOHHHHHH

My son will come home
Tomorrow
So his sisters better put back what
THEY borrowed
Before he sees...

He's a really great guy
He's mature
and fu-unny
We really miss him a lot
We just gotta get
through with todaaaaayyyyoooooOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH

(BIG BIG FINISH)
MY SON WILL COME HOME
TOMORROW
SO I GOTTA HANG ON TILL
TOMORROW....
COME WHAT MAY!!!!!
TOOOOO MORROW
TOMORROW
OH BRIAN I LOVE YOU
I'LL SEE YOU IN ONE MORE DAY!

OMG!

Wow....been a while...

Sold a house, worked on a book, studied for an exam, co facilitated a bereavement group, financially consulted the masses (ok...not really the maaaasses...), had my heart broke, had a vaca, had some house guests, sent a boy off to camp, did some self discovery through it all, healed some bits of my heart, cleaned my office, picked up my MUCH missed horn, threw a load of wash, and here I am...

Sorry for the delay but now that we're caught up, I want to talk a little bit about God.
Yea.
God.
He's been on my mind in such a big way lately.

I'm sure I'll only be able to scratch the scratch of the scratch of the surface here, but worth the explore, none the less.
I used to think God was the guy with the robes and the long white beard who was gonna get me if I didn't do x, y, or z. X being my CCD homework. Y would be some crazy thing like picking up my socks when I was six. Sin to have a messy room you know. Yea, yea. I know. It does make good sense to keep things orderly. I think more clearly. I'm more focused and productive. I get it. It was never my strong suit, the organization. Whoopy doo! I am great at other stuff. I can bake circles around Betty Crocker. (and make a huge mess) I love to paint a room (and leave the brush out for a week) Gardening is such a delight. I love to plant, pick weeds and prune from morning till night. (don't ask me where my tools are from last time)
A bit exaggerated, perhaps, but my point is that I don't really think that God thinks any less of me because of any of these things. In fact, I think He may find me quite delightful in my messy creative endeavors. Even when that includes making a royal mess of my interpersonal relationships.
I questioned what I was being told to believe.

Which brings me to the bible....

I've read it. I believe a lot of it. I do believe that it is the inspired word of God. I believe that any creative expression, whether it's music, art, dance, writing (or baking!) comes from Spirit. So, yes. Inspired.
What I do not believe is that the time of its writing is the last time God had anything to say. Nor do I believe every single word of it's multiple translations to be anything close to what He truly meant to convey. There are some very well schooled believers who would have you believe that God is downright codependent according to "His Word". These same would be so bold as to reduce God to a mere 7 or 800 some odd pages. Really? This God you speak of only had 800 pages to work with? After that the rest is what, heresy??? Does He really demand worship, praise and glorifying in one particular way or another? I don't think so.

As you can see, I began to question.
I discovered the work of Neal Donald Walsh. It didn't confuse me. It confirmed what I already knew in my gut to be true. God's bigger than that book. AND He's got a whole lot more to say. AND He speaks in every way. He speaks in that soft voice in the back of your mind; the quietest whispers of your heart. (if I could just shut up long enough...)It's very hard to explain. You'll know when you know it's Him. Oh, you'll know. As it was written in the Nag Hammadi (go google that, if you are so inclined) it is about the knowing. Every answer you've ever searched for is already known to you. That's good news, no? It's just a matter of getting quiet enough to find it. I read/discovered that a little while after reading Conversations With God.
So now I had a broader view and a new question. The Nag Hammadi was written by the apostles John, Thomas, Peter and Paul. It never made it into the bible though it's some really good stuff written by the very men who walked with Jesus. My question is this; who got to say what books made the cut into the bible and more importantly, why? To suit whose agenda? Man's agenda of a self created religion of fear? It certainly wasn't excluded in order to promote God's agenda of all inclusive, unconditional, always room for a DO OVER love.
Now I was in the, "YEA, SAYS WHO?" phase of what I believed and to a large extent I still am. I am one who questions everything. Constantly. Heck, even Buddha said not to believe everything we read and hear unless it resonates with our own personal truths. That was to include all that he had to say as well.
Keep questioning. That's how we'll grow.

Then, I happened upon the theory of quantum physics and the time space continuum. Sheesh....even I don't have enough words. Go google. I'll wait right here.
In a nutshell, the time space continuum can be elementarily explained as all that has ever happened and all that will ever happen is happening right now in this very moment. This, my friends,THIS is where God is. God is in the everything.

PAUSE

With me?

Everything is connected. All of it. All of us. We are of the same Spirit. Or, I could say energy. We are of the same energy, if that makes you more comfortable. The same energy that's moving me to write this is moving you to read it. How 'bout them apples? The same energy which causes me to breathe, causes the apple tree to grow. How 'bout THEM apples???

This belief of mine was confirmed at the passing of my daughter. I know that I know she has returned to Spirit. (or the energy from whence she came). I know that I know that I am of that same Spirit. Therefore, I know that I know we are not truly separate. Not any one of us. Not Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, Jew, Hindi, Protestant or Fundamentalists. We are not separate. To call one wrong is to call all wrong.
It is not possible to have it both ways. There is no reason for any extremism in any arena. No reason to be all black or all white, all left or all right.

Oh yea, this is about God, not religion...
Huge is too small.
Gigantic, no.
Enormous, not quite.
Brobdingnagian....ok, ok, now I'm in the thesaurus....
God...Energy....Spirit....

GOD!

All encompassing. All expressive. All different. All the same. All knowing. All powerful. All weak. All strong. All there is.

All there is not.

I take great comfort in that.

God Bless us all.

HELP!!

Oh man.
May 21st.
How the heck did that happen? Seems like it was just May 8th and I was writing poems about my kids and being a mother.

Truth is, I've been crazy busy the last few weeks.
So busy I can't keep up with laundry.
So busy I can't keep up with my usual spring gardening.
Mopping? HA! That's a laugh.
I've even bailed on a yoga class or two.
It seems the more there is to do, the more I feel the need to do it.
By myself.
Anyone?

Asking for help seems to me to be the hardest thing in the world.
I am not talking about help like coaching or therapy sort of help.
We'll leave that to the professionals.
I am talking about the everyday tasks that must be managed or chaos will surely ensue.
This was brought to my attention so blatantly this week.
I am in a position of middle management type authority, have a team of 10 report to me and have 2 assistants. I've been unofficially in this position for 2 weeks. Officially, for 2 days. On day one of my official appointment, I was creeping dangerously close to 50 minutes and 4 crew members behind in my daily tasks. Yipe!
What could I do??
It was suggested to me by a member of the crew to use my resources. Delegate.
In other words, ask for help!
I'm really bad at it. Up till now, I've never been any good at it. The flash back of examples are still hittin' me. How many good things I've done could have been GREAT if only I'd have asked for help.
Don't get me wrong. This is not meant to be self depreciating at all. I've done a number of some very good things. I just was never really comfortable asking for help.

Call it an ego thing. Who wants to be seen as weak or incompetent? My dad sure did instill independence. But certainly in the context of a group, the leader must always bear in mind the good of the whole. In so doing, I listened.
It was really hard! But the results....

Today instead of being so far behind, we (yes WE, my assistants and I) were ahead of ourselves and the load felt light. The crew was happy because we got to address all concerns. The office personnel were happy because today's work was submitted within the prescribed time frame.
No one was put out or burdened. They were happy to get the job done!
Me?
I don't feel weak, incompetent or even dependent at all. I feel confident that the work of this particular crew will be great because we work as a team. I feel secure knowing there are people I can rely on. Together the burden is light.

How many things in my life would be that much easier if only I'd ask for help?
How many things in your life would be that much easier if only you'd ask for help?