Hmph!
Is what I say when I don't know what to say.
Right now I don't know what to say.
Or even to think. So if it's all the same to you I'm just gonna go ahead and work it out right here.
Hmph!
Endings. You know, endings.... graduations, leaving a job, moving to a new town, breakups, even death.
Are they nasty, sad, morose, mournful events?
Or are they just the cusp of bright new beginnings in disguise?
In the case of anyone of these scenarios one can certainly take away the intrinsic value of the lessons learned.
Far better it is to have gotten that education (in and out of the classroom), to have loved and been loved than not at all, to have worked with our minds or hands than be unemployed, or worse: unable!
Maybe along the way we may have learned a thing or two about ourselves and our own conduct. What is true about who I am and what I do is not always comfortable in relation to another.
So I make adjustments to suit that other. This has been with parent, siblings, bosses, friends, boyfriends, spouse, children. Sometimes there is an unavoidable falling out. When I am compared to "other reasonably thinking persons" or judged in any number of other ways....well....that....then....yea...Hmph!
I got nothin. Actually, I got plenty on judgement but never mind. That is a whole different topic.
And so when it ends like that...and lets face it, we've all experienced our share of messy endings, is this a sad thing or cause for celebration and dance? Even if it's not a hurtful ending; sad event or promise of something new?
In the case of moving, there all kinds of new adventures to be had and discoveries to be made. One meets new friends. Perhaps new opportunities are made available. This is a good thing.
When you leave a job, your slate is clean to go and start something new. That can be anything! Take a class. Learn a new trade. Possibilities here are endless.
In the case of a breakup, there becomes all this freed up time to be with yourself. It is a wonderful opportunity for practicing self love and self care. Meditation, journaling, lavender soaks, a nice long walk, or just that elusive pocket of breathing space fit nicely now.
When a loved one dies...well....I'm still working on the upside of that. What I can say is that my daughter was fortunate enough to have shed her diseased body and returned safely to spirit. That thought makes me happy and brings peace to my heart. I must add here that the death of Jesus had a VERY promising flip side. That would be His resurrection and ascension into heaven. VERY. BIG. UPSIDE.
So yea, I'm thinkin' that any of these events that seem so sad and grievous on the one side also have a very different flip side.
And coach Mike is right again. It's all what you choose to think about the event. The event in and of itself is neither here nor there. It's how we see it. (perspective, anyone?) It's how we label it that creates our belief about it.
Death was a win for Cait.
Break ups put me back in touch with Spirit.
Temporary move to AZ ... HANDS DOWN WIN!
(high five to all my desert flowers!)
Leaving Bath and Body Works...well...my heart pines now and again, but even that was a win. (I spent waaaay too much!)
I conclude that the matter of perspective has shown itself again and it is all of our own choosing.
I choose the bright new beginnings.
Can you call a DO OVER on a DO OVER in progress?
Hmph!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Earthquake Victims
Today I am inspired by a family that I know (and L-O-V-E) whose kids ran to their piggy banks to see how much they had to send help our brothers and sisters suffering in Haiti.
What if we all, just for a time, became that childlike?
What if we all put thought behind us and just acted with our best intentions and the best we had to give?
What if we didn't care who
it was that was hurting, just that someone was hurting?
What if we could live and love without abandon like children do?
All I have to say today is that I think that we as Americans can skip the Starbucks for just one day and send the 5 bucks to where it's really needed.
Think of your email contacts.
Think of your facebook friend list.
Who follows you on Twitter?
I don't mean to be preachy but....think if each one of those sent just 5 bucks....
Well....enough said.
Me personally, I am sending Piles of Love, White Light Energy to the Haitians and some cash to organizations already in place. There's no need to reinvent the wheel, just lend a hand to those with the wheel.
The following organizations are already organized and helping.
American Red Cross --- redcross.org
Doctors Without Borders ---doctorswithoutborders.org
UNICEF-USA --- unicefusa.org
Mercy Corps --- donate.mercycorps.org
I am not very technologically savvy so please excuse the lack of links and feel free to offer me instruction!!
Be well.
Be blessed.
Be loved.
Be grateful.
God bless us all.
What if we all, just for a time, became that childlike?
What if we all put thought behind us and just acted with our best intentions and the best we had to give?
What if we didn't care who
it was that was hurting, just that someone was hurting?
What if we could live and love without abandon like children do?
All I have to say today is that I think that we as Americans can skip the Starbucks for just one day and send the 5 bucks to where it's really needed.
Think of your email contacts.
Think of your facebook friend list.
Who follows you on Twitter?
I don't mean to be preachy but....think if each one of those sent just 5 bucks....
Well....enough said.
Me personally, I am sending Piles of Love, White Light Energy to the Haitians and some cash to organizations already in place. There's no need to reinvent the wheel, just lend a hand to those with the wheel.
The following organizations are already organized and helping.
American Red Cross --- redcross.org
Doctors Without Borders ---doctorswithoutborders.org
UNICEF-USA --- unicefusa.org
Mercy Corps --- donate.mercycorps.org
I am not very technologically savvy so please excuse the lack of links and feel free to offer me instruction!!
Be well.
Be blessed.
Be loved.
Be grateful.
God bless us all.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Breathe.....
Ahhhh, 5:50 am.
It is my most favorite time of the day. See, that is when my son's alarm goes off. He sets it early so he can hit the snooze. At one time I was baffled by this practice. Why the heck not just set the alarm for when you plan to actually get out of bed? Why do they even MAKE snooze alarms? I did not get it.
Now when I hear his alarm it represents the 10 minute warning to my own.
And let me tell you about those glorious ten minutes.
I spend exactly three of them going over my day and it goes something like this:
Okay what day what day what day...oh yea today is Friday. Hmmmm, meet with that kid at one, get a hold of Caiti's friend, have a cd for her, oh yea, my office mate would really benefit from it too, copy the cd. Take my coat to the dry cleaners, Gallagher sure was funny last week but what a wreck my coat is, wonder how Marie's doing, gotta pay the oil bill, OMG gotta mail that box to my brother! That baby's gotta be three months old by now! I stink so bad at these things! Have a li'l something to send to my Aussie friends too. For Christmas. Mmm Hmmm...Christmas. Good thing I never buy calendars as gifts. Maybe I should blog about procrastinating. Yea, another time. Chicken salad in lettuce cups for dinner. Quick fridge inventory. Good, I have the chicken AND the lettuce. Go me. Oh crap! Still out of olive oil. Maybe I'll squeeze Shop Rite in. Leaving debit card home tho. I ONLY need olive oil! How bout work work work work hmmmmm....oh yea, call on existing clients for Happy New Year. I'm good, it's still January. Set appointments for next week, register for that writer's workshop on Wed. OMG Wed! Check and see if I can move Wed morning appt so I can spend some time with a very dear friend. Make sure my son called the scout patrol. Why do their responsibilities turn into mine? Ah...good for him, he's finally a patrol leader. Check in w/my daughter's guidance counselor. All is well. Just have to check. Aunt coming out of hospital tomorrow, have flowers/card ready when she gets there. Some one's GOT to pair those socks already, maybe I'll get to that today or maybe that should go on the rotating chore chart. OMG!! My turn to feed the dogs......got it! This should be a great day.
And then........
NOTHING.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I do not go back to sleep. I spend seven minutes in that quiet corner of my mind. My mind, though, is not really accurate. The above is how my mind is all the time.
I go to that "other" place inside. This is meditation. Some people picture a beachy place or mountains. I did too when I first learned to meditate. I still do.
But not in those very special seven minutes of my day. That is when I hit my restart. I listen for my breath. I pay very close attention to anything my body has to tell me. It is when/where I reconnect with my Source. I express my gratitude for the new day. It is of course, yet another opportunity for a DO OVER. Some days I find the Lord's Prayer very helpful in getting me "there"; that place of "nowhere". I have a need for this sort of space in my day. Without it, things often go awry in a very out of control way. Things tend to go awry sometimes anyway, but with some space, I find I can breathe my way through most anything.
Because, after the seven minutes typically it's very nutty and I'm referring to just the amount of time between waking and getting the kids off to school. I'll use this very morning as an example.....
Ahh...5:50, the aforementioned THINK, 7 minutes of blissful nothing, and 6:00 Mookie's scratchin' on my door. I outsmart him by entering the bathroom through my bedroom instead of the hall entrance. Yes I DO take pride in outsmarting my dog. He's part shepherd. Very smart and often challenges me to a contest of smarts. That's a whole nother blog though. In the bathroom, AUUGGHH!! No paper!! CRAP! (literally) Run down to the powder room. Trip over the dog. Dog is now so confused and stalks me outside the powder room. "She never uses that one at this time of day" Duck into the laundry room to run the dryer on the same load for the second time. Make a mental note to call the dryer guy. Head out to feed pets. Dog trips me again. This time I bang my arm on the corner of the wall entering the kitchen. Nice bruise. Do the "OW dance". Feed the dogs. Cat is ballistic as usual. He cannot understand why "thoooose two" (his words) get fed before he does. So he does the winding between my legs dance until I am actually dancing to avoid tripping on him too. Pull out the cat food box. Lid wasn't tight. Cat food all over the floor. REALLY???? Fuming now and cat still aggressively rubbing on me and meowing his head off in a very cynical, almost mocking Jack Nicholson sort of way. Clean up the food. Put his dish on the counter. Scooping food into....cat jumps up, hits my hand, food on the floor again. REALLY, BILL???? R-E-A-L-L-Y??? Cat sneers. I swear. Let the dogs out.
Okay, the kids. ACK! I promised pancakes today. Yes, cooked breakfast daily. When child with car thinks its a good idea to go out to breakfast in place of first period, child gets keys taken and breakfast cooked at home. It makes perfect sense to me.
Shit! We are out of Bisquick! Pull out the cookbook and have at the scratch recipe. (it truly is just as easy and much tastier.) Open the fridge. No milk but man that Corona is looking mighty good right now. I'll just use half and half with water. (it worked!!)
Made the lunches in between flipping the flap jacks, listened to today's thought from our "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" calendar, took a phone call, and got the cherubs off to school. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Ahhhh....I just poured my coffee. Had to have the french vanilla creamer because I used all of the half and half in the pancakes.
I am very glad for these few moments of peace.
There is still a whole day in front of me. It is very likely that I will carve out time tonight to find that space again. I actually do schedule mandatory "self care" time on Friday nights. It's my date with me. Life is just too hectic. Sometimes even in the first hour of the day.
Maybe slowing down is not an option at this juncture. The kids, the pets, the friends, the house, the work, the self care are a lot to deal with. Certainly finding small pockets of breathing space is imperative. For me, anyway.
I'm going back for another 7.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I wonder what my son does with his extra 10 minutes?
It is my most favorite time of the day. See, that is when my son's alarm goes off. He sets it early so he can hit the snooze. At one time I was baffled by this practice. Why the heck not just set the alarm for when you plan to actually get out of bed? Why do they even MAKE snooze alarms? I did not get it.
Now when I hear his alarm it represents the 10 minute warning to my own.
And let me tell you about those glorious ten minutes.
I spend exactly three of them going over my day and it goes something like this:
Okay what day what day what day...oh yea today is Friday. Hmmmm, meet with that kid at one, get a hold of Caiti's friend, have a cd for her, oh yea, my office mate would really benefit from it too, copy the cd. Take my coat to the dry cleaners, Gallagher sure was funny last week but what a wreck my coat is, wonder how Marie's doing, gotta pay the oil bill, OMG gotta mail that box to my brother! That baby's gotta be three months old by now! I stink so bad at these things! Have a li'l something to send to my Aussie friends too. For Christmas. Mmm Hmmm...Christmas. Good thing I never buy calendars as gifts. Maybe I should blog about procrastinating. Yea, another time. Chicken salad in lettuce cups for dinner. Quick fridge inventory. Good, I have the chicken AND the lettuce. Go me. Oh crap! Still out of olive oil. Maybe I'll squeeze Shop Rite in. Leaving debit card home tho. I ONLY need olive oil! How bout work work work work hmmmmm....oh yea, call on existing clients for Happy New Year. I'm good, it's still January. Set appointments for next week, register for that writer's workshop on Wed. OMG Wed! Check and see if I can move Wed morning appt so I can spend some time with a very dear friend. Make sure my son called the scout patrol. Why do their responsibilities turn into mine? Ah...good for him, he's finally a patrol leader. Check in w/my daughter's guidance counselor. All is well. Just have to check. Aunt coming out of hospital tomorrow, have flowers/card ready when she gets there. Some one's GOT to pair those socks already, maybe I'll get to that today or maybe that should go on the rotating chore chart. OMG!! My turn to feed the dogs......got it! This should be a great day.
And then........
NOTHING.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I do not go back to sleep. I spend seven minutes in that quiet corner of my mind. My mind, though, is not really accurate. The above is how my mind is all the time.
I go to that "other" place inside. This is meditation. Some people picture a beachy place or mountains. I did too when I first learned to meditate. I still do.
But not in those very special seven minutes of my day. That is when I hit my restart. I listen for my breath. I pay very close attention to anything my body has to tell me. It is when/where I reconnect with my Source. I express my gratitude for the new day. It is of course, yet another opportunity for a DO OVER. Some days I find the Lord's Prayer very helpful in getting me "there"; that place of "nowhere". I have a need for this sort of space in my day. Without it, things often go awry in a very out of control way. Things tend to go awry sometimes anyway, but with some space, I find I can breathe my way through most anything.
Because, after the seven minutes typically it's very nutty and I'm referring to just the amount of time between waking and getting the kids off to school. I'll use this very morning as an example.....
Ahh...5:50, the aforementioned THINK, 7 minutes of blissful nothing, and 6:00 Mookie's scratchin' on my door. I outsmart him by entering the bathroom through my bedroom instead of the hall entrance. Yes I DO take pride in outsmarting my dog. He's part shepherd. Very smart and often challenges me to a contest of smarts. That's a whole nother blog though. In the bathroom, AUUGGHH!! No paper!! CRAP! (literally) Run down to the powder room. Trip over the dog. Dog is now so confused and stalks me outside the powder room. "She never uses that one at this time of day" Duck into the laundry room to run the dryer on the same load for the second time. Make a mental note to call the dryer guy. Head out to feed pets. Dog trips me again. This time I bang my arm on the corner of the wall entering the kitchen. Nice bruise. Do the "OW dance". Feed the dogs. Cat is ballistic as usual. He cannot understand why "thoooose two" (his words) get fed before he does. So he does the winding between my legs dance until I am actually dancing to avoid tripping on him too. Pull out the cat food box. Lid wasn't tight. Cat food all over the floor. REALLY???? Fuming now and cat still aggressively rubbing on me and meowing his head off in a very cynical, almost mocking Jack Nicholson sort of way. Clean up the food. Put his dish on the counter. Scooping food into....cat jumps up, hits my hand, food on the floor again. REALLY, BILL???? R-E-A-L-L-Y??? Cat sneers. I swear. Let the dogs out.
Okay, the kids. ACK! I promised pancakes today. Yes, cooked breakfast daily. When child with car thinks its a good idea to go out to breakfast in place of first period, child gets keys taken and breakfast cooked at home. It makes perfect sense to me.
Shit! We are out of Bisquick! Pull out the cookbook and have at the scratch recipe. (it truly is just as easy and much tastier.) Open the fridge. No milk but man that Corona is looking mighty good right now. I'll just use half and half with water. (it worked!!)
Made the lunches in between flipping the flap jacks, listened to today's thought from our "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" calendar, took a phone call, and got the cherubs off to school. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Ahhhh....I just poured my coffee. Had to have the french vanilla creamer because I used all of the half and half in the pancakes.
I am very glad for these few moments of peace.
There is still a whole day in front of me. It is very likely that I will carve out time tonight to find that space again. I actually do schedule mandatory "self care" time on Friday nights. It's my date with me. Life is just too hectic. Sometimes even in the first hour of the day.
Maybe slowing down is not an option at this juncture. The kids, the pets, the friends, the house, the work, the self care are a lot to deal with. Certainly finding small pockets of breathing space is imperative. For me, anyway.
I'm going back for another 7.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I wonder what my son does with his extra 10 minutes?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
C'mon and THINK!
I am a little fired up this morning and I just might rant.
Bear with me and again, keep what resonates and leave the rest!
I mean no offense to anyone. These are just ramblings of my observations, thoughts and opinions.
I decided I am going to write the book. I have an outline, the note cards, and volumes of journals and all for a good while! I've just been hesitant. I don't have a degree in anything. Been an at home mom for years mixed in with some odd music jobs and the disastrous year I spent in retail. (Bath and Body Works-CRIPES! Spent more than I made!) I am now a practicing financial consultant and learning that as I go. Really...a book? Me?
Well let me tell you. Yes. Me. It's time and here's how I know. I went to see the comedian Gallagher last night. While most of his comedy is intelligent and cerebral, for example, seriously, why don't all of the _omb words rhyme? tomb, comb, bomb? And why DOES my teenager say something is "sick nasty" when indeed they mean it's good? Who knows? Ultimately, this guy Gallagher renders his opinion on things he thinks about, thinks up various ways to smash fruit, vegetables and all other manner of condiments, gooey stuff, and syrups ET CE TERA,
AND PEOPLE PAY TO SEE HIM TO DO IT!
REALLY???
His overall theme was about thinking. He encouraged his audience to think independently and creatively. This message has been presented to me in several ways in just the last 18-24 months. Sometimes the message came from books I picked up, sometimes from influential people I've met in Primerica, once from my life coach and last night from Gallagher. BTW, this is how the Universe usually communicates with me. The same message is sent again and again until finally I pick it up and act on it.
Some books I've picked up and highly recommend are THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill. Dale Carnegie hired Mr. Hill to go out and interview all of the great millionaires of the day who built their empires from nothing. Hill was paid a life's wages by Carnegie to find out the common denominator among these men and their success. Thus the title of the book.
On two separate occasions I had the great fortune of participating in an intimately set Q & A with 2 of my company's pioneers, founders, and cash machines. [both women ;)] Both began their careers and base much of their success on the principles in this book. One of them, and pay attention here, this is big. One of them gave strong advice. She said, "Go buy this book. Put it on your nightstand. Even if you do nothing else, pick it up and read the cover once in the morning and once at night. At least get the message that you have to THINK!"
Another really good one is Dr. Wayne Dyer's CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS---CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
This is a collection of 81 essays. Each expands upon each of the 81 verses of the ancient text, the Tao. I could write volumes about this after having read and re-read it a number of times.
Please don't misread here. This is not about religion or one certain philosophy. The Bible is a good one too. Crack that baby open and have a look and a think for yourself as to what God is saying.
I was inspired to do this while teaching Sunday School and after reading CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD 1,2,& 3 by Neal Donald Walsh.
The Koran. The Kaballah....these two I have only skimmed.
The Secret. The Law of Attraction. The Moses Code. My point here is that all of these have similar themes and slight variations on the same message. Though many consider it all New Age, ain't none of it new. Some is presented in shiny new packaging but there is nothing new under the sun. Especially thinking!
I hired a life coach early in 2009 for many reasons. I find life coaches to be more proactive and forthcoming with coping tools and skills rather than just talk therapists. I've tried both. This is just my preference. Anyway, in late fall of last year I was having a very tough time with what we call "the sads" in my house. I checked in with Mike and he reminded me that missing Caiti and being sad about it was only one part of the story. The other part of course, was her love, her light, the beautiful way she walked in the world and all of the happy memories we shared. Then he asked me which part of the story I'd rather focus on and THINK about!
HMPH!!
I gotta tell ya, at first I had a ton of trouble with this.
I was insulted and almost angry that he would suggest the depth of my grief could be changed by simply changing my mind about it. REALLY????
Later I found that this concept works. Change the focus. Choose a new thought. All manner of thoughts are available all the time. So pick something different to think about. It truly is that simple. Simple and easy are not, however, interchangeable. I do remind myself, sometimes out loud, "Change the thought please! I need a better one than that!!" All things with practice. The sads still come but I am now able to navigate my way through them much easier.
There is a point here. Last night Gallagher went on about independent, creative thought. It is what this country was founded and built on. Good stuff. He lamented that it is rarely seen in America today. We send our children to school to learn to conform. That's a whole 'nother blog though.
Back to the book. I'm going to write and share all these stories and all these thoughts. I do not have a degree, did not spend hours digesting text after text at an institution of higher learning, nor are there any letters after my name. I did finish 3 years of a Music Ed degree, but it hardly applies here.
However, I did get my learnin' on in the school of life. I do have stories to share and opinions to render that just might resonate with someone else. Some of these are just too much of a gift to hold onto. That is the thought I am sticking with.
What thoughts hold you back? What have you always thought about doing but haven't yet? Maybe it is as simple as choosing a new thought about it.
Even Aretha Franklin reminds us to, "C'mon and THINK."
Bear with me and again, keep what resonates and leave the rest!
I mean no offense to anyone. These are just ramblings of my observations, thoughts and opinions.
I decided I am going to write the book. I have an outline, the note cards, and volumes of journals and all for a good while! I've just been hesitant. I don't have a degree in anything. Been an at home mom for years mixed in with some odd music jobs and the disastrous year I spent in retail. (Bath and Body Works-CRIPES! Spent more than I made!) I am now a practicing financial consultant and learning that as I go. Really...a book? Me?
Well let me tell you. Yes. Me. It's time and here's how I know. I went to see the comedian Gallagher last night. While most of his comedy is intelligent and cerebral, for example, seriously, why don't all of the _omb words rhyme? tomb, comb, bomb? And why DOES my teenager say something is "sick nasty" when indeed they mean it's good? Who knows? Ultimately, this guy Gallagher renders his opinion on things he thinks about, thinks up various ways to smash fruit, vegetables and all other manner of condiments, gooey stuff, and syrups ET CE TERA,
AND PEOPLE PAY TO SEE HIM TO DO IT!
REALLY???
His overall theme was about thinking. He encouraged his audience to think independently and creatively. This message has been presented to me in several ways in just the last 18-24 months. Sometimes the message came from books I picked up, sometimes from influential people I've met in Primerica, once from my life coach and last night from Gallagher. BTW, this is how the Universe usually communicates with me. The same message is sent again and again until finally I pick it up and act on it.
Some books I've picked up and highly recommend are THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill. Dale Carnegie hired Mr. Hill to go out and interview all of the great millionaires of the day who built their empires from nothing. Hill was paid a life's wages by Carnegie to find out the common denominator among these men and their success. Thus the title of the book.
On two separate occasions I had the great fortune of participating in an intimately set Q & A with 2 of my company's pioneers, founders, and cash machines. [both women ;)] Both began their careers and base much of their success on the principles in this book. One of them, and pay attention here, this is big. One of them gave strong advice. She said, "Go buy this book. Put it on your nightstand. Even if you do nothing else, pick it up and read the cover once in the morning and once at night. At least get the message that you have to THINK!"
Another really good one is Dr. Wayne Dyer's CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS---CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
This is a collection of 81 essays. Each expands upon each of the 81 verses of the ancient text, the Tao. I could write volumes about this after having read and re-read it a number of times.
Please don't misread here. This is not about religion or one certain philosophy. The Bible is a good one too. Crack that baby open and have a look and a think for yourself as to what God is saying.
I was inspired to do this while teaching Sunday School and after reading CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD 1,2,& 3 by Neal Donald Walsh.
The Koran. The Kaballah....these two I have only skimmed.
The Secret. The Law of Attraction. The Moses Code. My point here is that all of these have similar themes and slight variations on the same message. Though many consider it all New Age, ain't none of it new. Some is presented in shiny new packaging but there is nothing new under the sun. Especially thinking!
I hired a life coach early in 2009 for many reasons. I find life coaches to be more proactive and forthcoming with coping tools and skills rather than just talk therapists. I've tried both. This is just my preference. Anyway, in late fall of last year I was having a very tough time with what we call "the sads" in my house. I checked in with Mike and he reminded me that missing Caiti and being sad about it was only one part of the story. The other part of course, was her love, her light, the beautiful way she walked in the world and all of the happy memories we shared. Then he asked me which part of the story I'd rather focus on and THINK about!
HMPH!!
I gotta tell ya, at first I had a ton of trouble with this.
I was insulted and almost angry that he would suggest the depth of my grief could be changed by simply changing my mind about it. REALLY????
Later I found that this concept works. Change the focus. Choose a new thought. All manner of thoughts are available all the time. So pick something different to think about. It truly is that simple. Simple and easy are not, however, interchangeable. I do remind myself, sometimes out loud, "Change the thought please! I need a better one than that!!" All things with practice. The sads still come but I am now able to navigate my way through them much easier.
There is a point here. Last night Gallagher went on about independent, creative thought. It is what this country was founded and built on. Good stuff. He lamented that it is rarely seen in America today. We send our children to school to learn to conform. That's a whole 'nother blog though.
Back to the book. I'm going to write and share all these stories and all these thoughts. I do not have a degree, did not spend hours digesting text after text at an institution of higher learning, nor are there any letters after my name. I did finish 3 years of a Music Ed degree, but it hardly applies here.
However, I did get my learnin' on in the school of life. I do have stories to share and opinions to render that just might resonate with someone else. Some of these are just too much of a gift to hold onto. That is the thought I am sticking with.
What thoughts hold you back? What have you always thought about doing but haven't yet? Maybe it is as simple as choosing a new thought about it.
Even Aretha Franklin reminds us to, "C'mon and THINK."
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Perspective
Ha Ha...It's a random Thursday!
Good news...
about that $1.46M....
I found ten bucks in my coat pocket. That leaves $ 1,459,990. to go! WOOOT!
See? It's comin!
It's all about perspective. My hair dresser pointed that out to me this week. As he was clipping my bangs he'd take 2 snips and 2 steps back, come back and 2 snips, 2 steps, 2 snips, 2 steps. He told me he was doing that so he could gain better perspective of the whole picture. Otherwise he'd just be looking at hairs.
How smart is this guy???
So often we can get caught up in the "hairs" that we never appreciate the beauty of the whole style. The furnace goes, the lamp breaks, the car needs service, one of the kids forgot their lunch, one of the kids is sick while you're away, the computer craps out, the dog craps in, etc. It is so easy to get caught up in these details!
Keeping a broader perspective helps in rising above the details.
Maybe you had an arguement with someone you love. Instead of looking at the hairs of who said what, who was right, who started it etc, rise above to the broader perspective. What is this person's intent? If it's blatant disregard or disrespect that's one thing. What I have learned is that mostly people operate from a place of love whether or not they communicate it well. Better to split these hairs, or find that place of peace that comes from letting go of the details for the greater good.
Maybe you're not doing so great at work. Clients aren't returning calls, sales are down, can't generate the interest, boss is on your back, deadlines are actually killing you, students still have winter break on the brain, etc. Does this mean you stink? NO!! Rise above and get a broader perspective. Look at all you have done, all you are capable of, call the DO OVER and DO IT!
Take it from this broad. Perspective is everything. This point has recently been driven home in my life. For some reason, at times other people seem to know better about my life than I do and have no problem telling me so. Used to be I'd meet this behavior with a counter attack and constant justification for my position. Then they'd blow. Then I'd blow. Then we'd just be a couple of blow hards with no resolution.
This year, in keeping with the them of peace, love, strength (and cash) I release that need to fight back and justify myself. I seek perspective for the other person's point of view. I seek to understand their true intent. There are many who care enough to add their perspective. That can only be good, right?
I won't let the "details" get me down. Hey! I have a heated home. The furnace needs service, but I have heat for my home!
I refuse to split hairs with myself at work. I have tremendous opportunity for myself and to share. Time to fine tune and change what isn't working and get on with what works!
Perspective.
Look at the whole cut, not just the hairs.
Good news...
about that $1.46M....
I found ten bucks in my coat pocket. That leaves $ 1,459,990. to go! WOOOT!
See? It's comin!
It's all about perspective. My hair dresser pointed that out to me this week. As he was clipping my bangs he'd take 2 snips and 2 steps back, come back and 2 snips, 2 steps, 2 snips, 2 steps. He told me he was doing that so he could gain better perspective of the whole picture. Otherwise he'd just be looking at hairs.
How smart is this guy???
So often we can get caught up in the "hairs" that we never appreciate the beauty of the whole style. The furnace goes, the lamp breaks, the car needs service, one of the kids forgot their lunch, one of the kids is sick while you're away, the computer craps out, the dog craps in, etc. It is so easy to get caught up in these details!
Keeping a broader perspective helps in rising above the details.
Maybe you had an arguement with someone you love. Instead of looking at the hairs of who said what, who was right, who started it etc, rise above to the broader perspective. What is this person's intent? If it's blatant disregard or disrespect that's one thing. What I have learned is that mostly people operate from a place of love whether or not they communicate it well. Better to split these hairs, or find that place of peace that comes from letting go of the details for the greater good.
Maybe you're not doing so great at work. Clients aren't returning calls, sales are down, can't generate the interest, boss is on your back, deadlines are actually killing you, students still have winter break on the brain, etc. Does this mean you stink? NO!! Rise above and get a broader perspective. Look at all you have done, all you are capable of, call the DO OVER and DO IT!
Take it from this broad. Perspective is everything. This point has recently been driven home in my life. For some reason, at times other people seem to know better about my life than I do and have no problem telling me so. Used to be I'd meet this behavior with a counter attack and constant justification for my position. Then they'd blow. Then I'd blow. Then we'd just be a couple of blow hards with no resolution.
This year, in keeping with the them of peace, love, strength (and cash) I release that need to fight back and justify myself. I seek perspective for the other person's point of view. I seek to understand their true intent. There are many who care enough to add their perspective. That can only be good, right?
I won't let the "details" get me down. Hey! I have a heated home. The furnace needs service, but I have heat for my home!
I refuse to split hairs with myself at work. I have tremendous opportunity for myself and to share. Time to fine tune and change what isn't working and get on with what works!
Perspective.
Look at the whole cut, not just the hairs.
Monday, January 4, 2010
YESSSSSSSSSS
Good Morning.
So, here we are doing it over. Officially, I suppose as it is Monday; the mother of Mondays in 2010. Hmm. But don't forget that a do over can also happen on a random Thursday!
This year's vision board contains very general themes of peace, love and strength.
It makes great sense given the turbulent times we've come from. I am hoping (planning?) for a bit of prosperity as well!
My absolute favorite thing on this board is a quote from Christopher Robin to Pooh.
(added by my youngest)
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think."
I just love that and it fits in so well with the doing over and selection of new goals, hopes and dreams.
Though no one has shared yet, I won't hold back!
The events over the last 5 years, 2008 & 9 in particular have screamed this brave, strong and smart theme to me. At the same time, through out the entire process the Universe (God, Alla, Buddha, whomever you chose) has provided every single thing I've ever needed to do every single thing I needed to do! Having said that, I don't know if bravery and blind faith are interchangeable or exact opposites. What I do know is that I have never and will never doubt that there is a Great Force I refer to as God, Alla, Great Spirit, Father Sun, Mother Earth, Nature, Goddess, the Universe etc. All these mean the same to me.
This Universe, I believe, continually supports and provides. I have noticed that it can only provide in the positive. Based on my particular beliefs and experiences, the Universe says only YES to me. Ex.--Geeze, I'm putting on weight. YES! Not only are my pants tight, but the check book is too! YES!
This marriage; ugh! YES! My kids are getting out of hand. YES! Get it? Conversely, the Universe has given the YES to other thoughts. My kids are a delight. YES! There is enough to go around. YES! Love IS the answer. YES! (more on that in future blogs) OH, I have to take Cait to AZ for alternative treatment? Oh, not covered by insurance and I don't know a soul? Gotta do it. We're gonna do it and it'll be ok. YES!!
We made the decision and I took her out there for the better part of 2008. The best part of that story is the friends we made while being strangers in a strange land. It was very Moses-esque wandering in the desert and all. There are beautiful people who held our hands and our hearts along that leg of the journey and continue to.
Also, we raised the money. Donations came in from family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, STRANGERS, etc. The whole experience was astounding. Not only did we raise enough for treatment, but there was enough for Caiti to really live life to the fullest every time she wanted to. Really. Very nice apartments in the nicest parts of town, regular massages, jeep tours to the mountain tops because she couldn't hike, sight seeing, movies, high end shopping in Scottsdale, gourmet meals, cupcakes, etc.
Somehow, I was given the gifts I needed to withstand and bear all the parts that were not so fun. The no sugar, wheat, or dairy diet. Try telling your teenager that! The after effects of radiation were horrible for her. I remember being torn between staring at her and hiking Camelback with her sister to blow off steam. (Invariably we'd find heart shaped rocks on that mountain. Every time. I view them as a wink from God himself sending love notes) Advocating for her among doctors, pharmacists, insurance providers was interesting. Who knew one could learn all that lingo? And then toward the end, carrying oxygen tanks, stopping every three feet to breathe, 3am coughing spells, etc...watching her health decline...
While parts were excruciating for her and for me, my point is, all the brave, strong, and smart was provided to get through it and what occurred after. How much in your life have you gotten through? The brave strong and smart is a part of us all. Stay with me here, it is relevant!
SO, goals, hopes, dreams for 2010?
Yea, among the love, peace, and strength, this year I am going for the cash option as well.
I've sorted it out. $1.46M ought to be enough to pay off my mortgage; the one here and on the house I'll be buying in AZ. It's enough to invest for college. It's enough to give some to people I care about. It's enough for that robins egg blue Ford Thunderbird convertible with the white leather interior!
I know it's out there for me. It's just a matter of connecting to it!
$1.46M.
Whether it comes in a lump or I have to work my tail off is irrelevant but I am going to go to work now just in case!
The universe will provide. Don't forget to ask for yours; what ever it may be.
YESSSSSSSSSSS!
So, here we are doing it over. Officially, I suppose as it is Monday; the mother of Mondays in 2010. Hmm. But don't forget that a do over can also happen on a random Thursday!
This year's vision board contains very general themes of peace, love and strength.
It makes great sense given the turbulent times we've come from. I am hoping (planning?) for a bit of prosperity as well!
My absolute favorite thing on this board is a quote from Christopher Robin to Pooh.
(added by my youngest)
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think."
I just love that and it fits in so well with the doing over and selection of new goals, hopes and dreams.
Though no one has shared yet, I won't hold back!
The events over the last 5 years, 2008 & 9 in particular have screamed this brave, strong and smart theme to me. At the same time, through out the entire process the Universe (God, Alla, Buddha, whomever you chose) has provided every single thing I've ever needed to do every single thing I needed to do! Having said that, I don't know if bravery and blind faith are interchangeable or exact opposites. What I do know is that I have never and will never doubt that there is a Great Force I refer to as God, Alla, Great Spirit, Father Sun, Mother Earth, Nature, Goddess, the Universe etc. All these mean the same to me.
This Universe, I believe, continually supports and provides. I have noticed that it can only provide in the positive. Based on my particular beliefs and experiences, the Universe says only YES to me. Ex.--Geeze, I'm putting on weight. YES! Not only are my pants tight, but the check book is too! YES!
This marriage; ugh! YES! My kids are getting out of hand. YES! Get it? Conversely, the Universe has given the YES to other thoughts. My kids are a delight. YES! There is enough to go around. YES! Love IS the answer. YES! (more on that in future blogs) OH, I have to take Cait to AZ for alternative treatment? Oh, not covered by insurance and I don't know a soul? Gotta do it. We're gonna do it and it'll be ok. YES!!
We made the decision and I took her out there for the better part of 2008. The best part of that story is the friends we made while being strangers in a strange land. It was very Moses-esque wandering in the desert and all. There are beautiful people who held our hands and our hearts along that leg of the journey and continue to.
Also, we raised the money. Donations came in from family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, STRANGERS, etc. The whole experience was astounding. Not only did we raise enough for treatment, but there was enough for Caiti to really live life to the fullest every time she wanted to. Really. Very nice apartments in the nicest parts of town, regular massages, jeep tours to the mountain tops because she couldn't hike, sight seeing, movies, high end shopping in Scottsdale, gourmet meals, cupcakes, etc.
Somehow, I was given the gifts I needed to withstand and bear all the parts that were not so fun. The no sugar, wheat, or dairy diet. Try telling your teenager that! The after effects of radiation were horrible for her. I remember being torn between staring at her and hiking Camelback with her sister to blow off steam. (Invariably we'd find heart shaped rocks on that mountain. Every time. I view them as a wink from God himself sending love notes) Advocating for her among doctors, pharmacists, insurance providers was interesting. Who knew one could learn all that lingo? And then toward the end, carrying oxygen tanks, stopping every three feet to breathe, 3am coughing spells, etc...watching her health decline...
While parts were excruciating for her and for me, my point is, all the brave, strong, and smart was provided to get through it and what occurred after. How much in your life have you gotten through? The brave strong and smart is a part of us all. Stay with me here, it is relevant!
SO, goals, hopes, dreams for 2010?
Yea, among the love, peace, and strength, this year I am going for the cash option as well.
I've sorted it out. $1.46M ought to be enough to pay off my mortgage; the one here and on the house I'll be buying in AZ. It's enough to invest for college. It's enough to give some to people I care about. It's enough for that robins egg blue Ford Thunderbird convertible with the white leather interior!
I know it's out there for me. It's just a matter of connecting to it!
$1.46M.
Whether it comes in a lump or I have to work my tail off is irrelevant but I am going to go to work now just in case!
The universe will provide. Don't forget to ask for yours; what ever it may be.
YESSSSSSSSSSS!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
DO OVER!!!
Here's the good news about a do over. They are continually available.
To get closer to the essence of my intent I'd like you to recall your play ground days. Remember when we all played kickball and the play went so wrong and so much interference interfered? Maybe a random kid ran through the field, maybe the sun got in our eyes, or maybe we were just distracted by something shiny. (more on the shiny distractions in future blogs) All we had to do was throw our hands up and shout, "DO OVER!!!"
Well, that's my intent here. To call the do over. To live the do over. To blog about the do over and perhaps encourage you to the same.
As long as there is blood in our veins and breath in our lungs, anytime is a good time for A "DO OVER!!!"
A little about me...The largest ingredient of my identity is that I am a mother of four. In November 2008 my oldest daughter crossed into the world of spirit. Cancer took her from our physical experience after a 4 1/2 year battle. While I miss her TREMENDOUSLYYYYYYY, she still gives me a wink or a nod almost daily. She was 18 and such a ray of light.
I have 3 other children who are 17, 13, and 10. They are equally delightful each in their own unique way. If you are lucky enough to know these kids, trust me, you are lucky enough. Myself included. It is an honor and a delight to be their mother!
In March of 2009 my marriage ended. What a hoot that story is!! (again, more later) He now lives directly across the street which is quite convenient and beneficial for the children. We happen to own both houses. That was lucky.
I have a giant sized sweet tooth...thus my mad baking skills.
(recently joined the Y to counter act said sweet tooth)
I've played french horn since I was 14. Looking forward to my return to the local musical community!
I like to sketch.
I like to garden...can lay a flower bed bordered with Belgium block like an illegal!
I love to cook.
I buy myself fresh flowers.
I take long lavender soaks when the world gets rough.
I write; journal.
I want to publish a book.
I practice Reiki daily.
I meditate.
I practice yoga.
I try to remember to breathe.
I taught music and movement for a short time but LOVED it! I cant hardly believe people paid me for doing that!
I swear this is not a plug...but I am an independent financial consultant for Primerica Financial Services. Who, by the way recently requested their IPO and broke away from Citi! Woot! That can only mean big things for those of us open enough to the opportunities.
I am an eternal, undying, almost annoying optimist! ;) Spent a good amount of time creating my vision board for 2010...this is a great tool!! All you need are some magazines, scissors, glue, and a hunk o' poster board. Then, GO FOR IT!! There are no wrong answers! Goal setting and some thought to desires can change everything! I think it was actually Buddha who said that your experience is a culmination of every thought you ever had....so if we just change our thoughts to what we desire....hmmmmm......how we'd like life to be....live so happily and gratefully as though it is already....hmmmm....
ANYWAY....that's the setting....no, wait!! The setting is some very stereo typical town just a hair west of the shoreline in NJ. In a very stereotypical development complete with a park like park behind the fence of our stereotypical 2 story colonial.
But I digress...the topic here WAS do overs mixed with goals and desires.
So, after the bad plays of cancer, death, and divorce, I believe a full on, hands tossed, loudly shouted "DO OVER!!!" is called for.
These things needn't define me or color my future anymore than your trials need to define your future!
To this end, today I spent 4 hours planning and strategizing my goals and desires for 2010.
I'll share mine if you share yours....
More tomorrow.
To get closer to the essence of my intent I'd like you to recall your play ground days. Remember when we all played kickball and the play went so wrong and so much interference interfered? Maybe a random kid ran through the field, maybe the sun got in our eyes, or maybe we were just distracted by something shiny. (more on the shiny distractions in future blogs) All we had to do was throw our hands up and shout, "DO OVER!!!"
Well, that's my intent here. To call the do over. To live the do over. To blog about the do over and perhaps encourage you to the same.
As long as there is blood in our veins and breath in our lungs, anytime is a good time for A "DO OVER!!!"
A little about me...The largest ingredient of my identity is that I am a mother of four. In November 2008 my oldest daughter crossed into the world of spirit. Cancer took her from our physical experience after a 4 1/2 year battle. While I miss her TREMENDOUSLYYYYYYY, she still gives me a wink or a nod almost daily. She was 18 and such a ray of light.
I have 3 other children who are 17, 13, and 10. They are equally delightful each in their own unique way. If you are lucky enough to know these kids, trust me, you are lucky enough. Myself included. It is an honor and a delight to be their mother!
In March of 2009 my marriage ended. What a hoot that story is!! (again, more later) He now lives directly across the street which is quite convenient and beneficial for the children. We happen to own both houses. That was lucky.
I have a giant sized sweet tooth...thus my mad baking skills.
(recently joined the Y to counter act said sweet tooth)
I've played french horn since I was 14. Looking forward to my return to the local musical community!
I like to sketch.
I like to garden...can lay a flower bed bordered with Belgium block like an illegal!
I love to cook.
I buy myself fresh flowers.
I take long lavender soaks when the world gets rough.
I write; journal.
I want to publish a book.
I practice Reiki daily.
I meditate.
I practice yoga.
I try to remember to breathe.
I taught music and movement for a short time but LOVED it! I cant hardly believe people paid me for doing that!
I swear this is not a plug...but I am an independent financial consultant for Primerica Financial Services. Who, by the way recently requested their IPO and broke away from Citi! Woot! That can only mean big things for those of us open enough to the opportunities.
I am an eternal, undying, almost annoying optimist! ;) Spent a good amount of time creating my vision board for 2010...this is a great tool!! All you need are some magazines, scissors, glue, and a hunk o' poster board. Then, GO FOR IT!! There are no wrong answers! Goal setting and some thought to desires can change everything! I think it was actually Buddha who said that your experience is a culmination of every thought you ever had....so if we just change our thoughts to what we desire....hmmmmm......how we'd like life to be....live so happily and gratefully as though it is already....hmmmm....
ANYWAY....that's the setting....no, wait!! The setting is some very stereo typical town just a hair west of the shoreline in NJ. In a very stereotypical development complete with a park like park behind the fence of our stereotypical 2 story colonial.
But I digress...the topic here WAS do overs mixed with goals and desires.
So, after the bad plays of cancer, death, and divorce, I believe a full on, hands tossed, loudly shouted "DO OVER!!!" is called for.
These things needn't define me or color my future anymore than your trials need to define your future!
To this end, today I spent 4 hours planning and strategizing my goals and desires for 2010.
I'll share mine if you share yours....
More tomorrow.
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