Waving the White Flag.....

Surrender...

Hmmmm....

Surrender...

Are we waiving a white flag? Are we giving in? Did we some how create a win/lose situation? Are we still able to stand our ground?

Or, does it provide that ever elusive serenity that I often jump through hoops to experience?

I find that there are so many factors in any given situation that are beyond my control. That being the case, 80% of any of my successes come from just showing up.
There are many things I am responsible for but showing up, just showing up is more than half the battle.

I was in a discussion about a pretty heavy topic with someone close to me recently.
This was one of those decision making type discussions. I did enter in with my preferred outcome in mind, as I often do. This time though, I truly wanted the decision to be mutually reached and fully agreed upon. Not asking for "my way" here.
That there was Step 1 for me. Not asking for my way. Accepting the things I cannot change, as it were.
Into the conversation I was not hearing what I wanted to or even what I thought I would. So here's what I did.

I sat back.
I took some deep calming breaths.

I shut my mouth.
(It does a world of good to shut one's mouth. Two ears, one mouth, you do the math.)

Then I listened.
I listened with my ears, my heart, and my higher self.
I gained a good amount of respect for the person I was talking with and their position. Even better, I realized that it did not change what I think, how I feel, or disturb my peace of mind. The fact that we did not even come to a concrete decision leaves me undisturbed as well. There are some issues in the way of making this decision. But they are not mine.

They are not mine.

How wonderfully freeing it is to understand that.
They are not mine.
I do not have to work hard to convince this other person about anything.
I do not have to fix them.
I do not have to look after them.
I do not have to seek solutions for them.

This is where it gets simple. *Note that simple and easy are not the same!
Sometimes the answer is no answer.
Sometimes the outcome will play out to be a situation or scenario better than what I could conceive of. Sometimes it will be what I didn't even know I wanted.

That is the type of surrender I'm talking about here. Not conceding to another's point of view or agenda....

...just sittin' back and bending with the flow of life.

Take a deep breath.
Let life in.