Well this just stinks out loud.
But if I'm going to have a proper DO OVER, I've got to get in front of this thing once and for all.
It's all about the letting go. Apparently it's time to learn the lesson because there is yet another opportunity for me to do so presently.
So let go, I shall.
And being the self appointed Empress of All Optimism, I will also find the good in this situation by the end of this blog.
If you have children, I think it will be easy to relate. The letting go is so very difficult. Sure they can GO. Brian went to camp, Jacki to Kentucky, Maggi will go to Intermediate School in two short weeks. That's not really the going that I mean.
They get into situations. They make sketchy decisions. They sometimes get mixed up with the wrong friends. Sometimes they get mistreated. That's the part that this Momma has the most trouble with. (they don't call me Smother Bear for nothing!)
Who's with me here? If any of you know the formula for stepping in times letting go equaling the square root of a very balanced, confident young adult, minus all the drama please tell me now! The first one to crack this could really help the masses!
One of my children got mistreated by an adult. No, it's nothing too serious. But it is certainly taking all of my might not to march right up to this person and tell him what's on my mind. Except for one thing. I was asked not too with a pretty please. Okay. A public blog will do just fine instead.
My question is, where exactly is that line?
The real question is, when does Momma need to step in and really help her child as opposed to step in and satisfy her own need to create the illusion of control?
I am not the mother who will fight with teachers for 2 points higher on a test so my kid gets the A. I am not the mom who will come banging your door down if our kids fight. I am not even the mom who will come to you if our kids get into trouble together. I won't do their homework. I'm not even the mom who will clean their rooms anymore.
I am the mom who will allow my kids to take responsibility for their study habits. I am also the mom who will ask my kid what his part in the fight was with your kid. I will hold my kid accountable when he or she gets in trouble with your kid. I will allow my kid to find their own stinkin' socks!
But now my kid has a job and her boss is a jerk. My child (who will only be a "child" for another 2 and a half months!)was mistreated by an adult. Here's the moment for Jacki to really shine. I am confident that she will.
I am confident that she'll find an even better job. She will make her way. She's brilliant and beautiful. She's got piles of common sense and rises to the challenge.
She will handle this. She will learn and grow to even more brilliance.
Me? I suppose I'll just sit back and watch. I'll be here with a shoulder and an ear. I'll catch the tears if need be. I'll wait till she comes to me with it.
This is my point. Sitting back is so NOT what I want to do! I want to walk in that place and throttle that guy. I want to shout at the other kid's mother that my kid got into trouble with. I want to correct the kid who fought with my kid.
ET CETERA!!!
But I won't. It's a new day.
It's a great day for a DO OVER.
Today I will take a really long walk in the park, maybe even with weights in each hand. That ought to expel all of this gnarly energy. Then I will come home and do an inner peace meditation.
THEN I will be grateful that life provides not only opportunities for my children to grow, but for my growth too.
(and I got the broccoli rabe secret already anyway!)
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Ode To My Boy
My son will come home tomorrow
He's been away all summer so
I borrowed
His Ipod touch
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
He'll clear away the garbage
and get the lawn mowed
Before lunch
And then we'll go out and play
All day
At the park or beach
We can take a big hike
Ride a bike
Or play balllllll
OOOHHHHHH
My son will come home
Tomorrow
So his sisters better put back what
THEY borrowed
Before he sees...
He's a really great guy
He's mature
and fu-unny
We really miss him a lot
We just gotta get
through with todaaaaayyyyoooooOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH
(BIG BIG FINISH)
MY SON WILL COME HOME
TOMORROW
SO I GOTTA HANG ON TILL
TOMORROW....
COME WHAT MAY!!!!!
TOOOOO MORROW
TOMORROW
OH BRIAN I LOVE YOU
I'LL SEE YOU IN ONE MORE DAY!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
OMG!
Wow....been a while...
Sold a house, worked on a book, studied for an exam, co facilitated a bereavement group, financially consulted the masses (ok...not really the maaaasses...), had my heart broke, had a vaca, had some house guests, sent a boy off to camp, did some self discovery through it all, healed some bits of my heart, cleaned my office, picked up my MUCH missed horn, threw a load of wash, and here I am...
Sorry for the delay but now that we're caught up, I want to talk a little bit about God.
Yea.
God.
He's been on my mind in such a big way lately.
I'm sure I'll only be able to scratch the scratch of the scratch of the surface here, but worth the explore, none the less.
I used to think God was the guy with the robes and the long white beard who was gonna get me if I didn't do x, y, or z. X being my CCD homework. Y would be some crazy thing like picking up my socks when I was six. Sin to have a messy room you know. Yea, yea. I know. It does make good sense to keep things orderly. I think more clearly. I'm more focused and productive. I get it. It was never my strong suit, the organization. Whoopy doo! I am great at other stuff. I can bake circles around Betty Crocker. (and make a huge mess) I love to paint a room (and leave the brush out for a week) Gardening is such a delight. I love to plant, pick weeds and prune from morning till night. (don't ask me where my tools are from last time)
A bit exaggerated, perhaps, but my point is that I don't really think that God thinks any less of me because of any of these things. In fact, I think He may find me quite delightful in my messy creative endeavors. Even when that includes making a royal mess of my interpersonal relationships.
I questioned what I was being told to believe.
Which brings me to the bible....
I've read it. I believe a lot of it. I do believe that it is the inspired word of God. I believe that any creative expression, whether it's music, art, dance, writing (or baking!) comes from Spirit. So, yes. Inspired.
What I do not believe is that the time of its writing is the last time God had anything to say. Nor do I believe every single word of it's multiple translations to be anything close to what He truly meant to convey. There are some very well schooled believers who would have you believe that God is downright codependent according to "His Word". These same would be so bold as to reduce God to a mere 7 or 800 some odd pages. Really? This God you speak of only had 800 pages to work with? After that the rest is what, heresy??? Does He really demand worship, praise and glorifying in one particular way or another? I don't think so.
As you can see, I began to question.
I discovered the work of Neal Donald Walsh. It didn't confuse me. It confirmed what I already knew in my gut to be true. God's bigger than that book. AND He's got a whole lot more to say. AND He speaks in every way. He speaks in that soft voice in the back of your mind; the quietest whispers of your heart. (if I could just shut up long enough...)It's very hard to explain. You'll know when you know it's Him. Oh, you'll know. As it was written in the Nag Hammadi (go google that, if you are so inclined) it is about the knowing. Every answer you've ever searched for is already known to you. That's good news, no? It's just a matter of getting quiet enough to find it. I read/discovered that a little while after reading Conversations With God.
So now I had a broader view and a new question. The Nag Hammadi was written by the apostles John, Thomas, Peter and Paul. It never made it into the bible though it's some really good stuff written by the very men who walked with Jesus. My question is this; who got to say what books made the cut into the bible and more importantly, why? To suit whose agenda? Man's agenda of a self created religion of fear? It certainly wasn't excluded in order to promote God's agenda of all inclusive, unconditional, always room for a DO OVER love.
Now I was in the, "YEA, SAYS WHO?" phase of what I believed and to a large extent I still am. I am one who questions everything. Constantly. Heck, even Buddha said not to believe everything we read and hear unless it resonates with our own personal truths. That was to include all that he had to say as well.
Keep questioning. That's how we'll grow.
Then, I happened upon the theory of quantum physics and the time space continuum. Sheesh....even I don't have enough words. Go google. I'll wait right here.
In a nutshell, the time space continuum can be elementarily explained as all that has ever happened and all that will ever happen is happening right now in this very moment. This, my friends,THIS is where God is. God is in the everything.
PAUSE
With me?
Everything is connected. All of it. All of us. We are of the same Spirit. Or, I could say energy. We are of the same energy, if that makes you more comfortable. The same energy that's moving me to write this is moving you to read it. How 'bout them apples? The same energy which causes me to breathe, causes the apple tree to grow. How 'bout THEM apples???
This belief of mine was confirmed at the passing of my daughter. I know that I know she has returned to Spirit. (or the energy from whence she came). I know that I know that I am of that same Spirit. Therefore, I know that I know we are not truly separate. Not any one of us. Not Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, Jew, Hindi, Protestant or Fundamentalists. We are not separate. To call one wrong is to call all wrong.
It is not possible to have it both ways. There is no reason for any extremism in any arena. No reason to be all black or all white, all left or all right.
Oh yea, this is about God, not religion...
Huge is too small.
Gigantic, no.
Enormous, not quite.
Brobdingnagian....ok, ok, now I'm in the thesaurus....
God...Energy....Spirit....
GOD!
All encompassing. All expressive. All different. All the same. All knowing. All powerful. All weak. All strong. All there is.
All there is not.
I take great comfort in that.
God Bless us all.
Sold a house, worked on a book, studied for an exam, co facilitated a bereavement group, financially consulted the masses (ok...not really the maaaasses...), had my heart broke, had a vaca, had some house guests, sent a boy off to camp, did some self discovery through it all, healed some bits of my heart, cleaned my office, picked up my MUCH missed horn, threw a load of wash, and here I am...
Sorry for the delay but now that we're caught up, I want to talk a little bit about God.
Yea.
God.
He's been on my mind in such a big way lately.
I'm sure I'll only be able to scratch the scratch of the scratch of the surface here, but worth the explore, none the less.
I used to think God was the guy with the robes and the long white beard who was gonna get me if I didn't do x, y, or z. X being my CCD homework. Y would be some crazy thing like picking up my socks when I was six. Sin to have a messy room you know. Yea, yea. I know. It does make good sense to keep things orderly. I think more clearly. I'm more focused and productive. I get it. It was never my strong suit, the organization. Whoopy doo! I am great at other stuff. I can bake circles around Betty Crocker. (and make a huge mess) I love to paint a room (and leave the brush out for a week) Gardening is such a delight. I love to plant, pick weeds and prune from morning till night. (don't ask me where my tools are from last time)
A bit exaggerated, perhaps, but my point is that I don't really think that God thinks any less of me because of any of these things. In fact, I think He may find me quite delightful in my messy creative endeavors. Even when that includes making a royal mess of my interpersonal relationships.
I questioned what I was being told to believe.
Which brings me to the bible....
I've read it. I believe a lot of it. I do believe that it is the inspired word of God. I believe that any creative expression, whether it's music, art, dance, writing (or baking!) comes from Spirit. So, yes. Inspired.
What I do not believe is that the time of its writing is the last time God had anything to say. Nor do I believe every single word of it's multiple translations to be anything close to what He truly meant to convey. There are some very well schooled believers who would have you believe that God is downright codependent according to "His Word". These same would be so bold as to reduce God to a mere 7 or 800 some odd pages. Really? This God you speak of only had 800 pages to work with? After that the rest is what, heresy??? Does He really demand worship, praise and glorifying in one particular way or another? I don't think so.
As you can see, I began to question.
I discovered the work of Neal Donald Walsh. It didn't confuse me. It confirmed what I already knew in my gut to be true. God's bigger than that book. AND He's got a whole lot more to say. AND He speaks in every way. He speaks in that soft voice in the back of your mind; the quietest whispers of your heart. (if I could just shut up long enough...)It's very hard to explain. You'll know when you know it's Him. Oh, you'll know. As it was written in the Nag Hammadi (go google that, if you are so inclined) it is about the knowing. Every answer you've ever searched for is already known to you. That's good news, no? It's just a matter of getting quiet enough to find it. I read/discovered that a little while after reading Conversations With God.
So now I had a broader view and a new question. The Nag Hammadi was written by the apostles John, Thomas, Peter and Paul. It never made it into the bible though it's some really good stuff written by the very men who walked with Jesus. My question is this; who got to say what books made the cut into the bible and more importantly, why? To suit whose agenda? Man's agenda of a self created religion of fear? It certainly wasn't excluded in order to promote God's agenda of all inclusive, unconditional, always room for a DO OVER love.
Now I was in the, "YEA, SAYS WHO?" phase of what I believed and to a large extent I still am. I am one who questions everything. Constantly. Heck, even Buddha said not to believe everything we read and hear unless it resonates with our own personal truths. That was to include all that he had to say as well.
Keep questioning. That's how we'll grow.
Then, I happened upon the theory of quantum physics and the time space continuum. Sheesh....even I don't have enough words. Go google. I'll wait right here.
In a nutshell, the time space continuum can be elementarily explained as all that has ever happened and all that will ever happen is happening right now in this very moment. This, my friends,THIS is where God is. God is in the everything.
PAUSE
With me?
Everything is connected. All of it. All of us. We are of the same Spirit. Or, I could say energy. We are of the same energy, if that makes you more comfortable. The same energy that's moving me to write this is moving you to read it. How 'bout them apples? The same energy which causes me to breathe, causes the apple tree to grow. How 'bout THEM apples???
This belief of mine was confirmed at the passing of my daughter. I know that I know she has returned to Spirit. (or the energy from whence she came). I know that I know that I am of that same Spirit. Therefore, I know that I know we are not truly separate. Not any one of us. Not Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, Jew, Hindi, Protestant or Fundamentalists. We are not separate. To call one wrong is to call all wrong.
It is not possible to have it both ways. There is no reason for any extremism in any arena. No reason to be all black or all white, all left or all right.
Oh yea, this is about God, not religion...
Huge is too small.
Gigantic, no.
Enormous, not quite.
Brobdingnagian....ok, ok, now I'm in the thesaurus....
God...Energy....Spirit....
GOD!
All encompassing. All expressive. All different. All the same. All knowing. All powerful. All weak. All strong. All there is.
All there is not.
I take great comfort in that.
God Bless us all.
Friday, May 21, 2010
HELP!!
Oh man.
May 21st.
How the heck did that happen? Seems like it was just May 8th and I was writing poems about my kids and being a mother.
Truth is, I've been crazy busy the last few weeks.
So busy I can't keep up with laundry.
So busy I can't keep up with my usual spring gardening.
Mopping? HA! That's a laugh.
I've even bailed on a yoga class or two.
It seems the more there is to do, the more I feel the need to do it.
By myself.
Anyone?
Asking for help seems to me to be the hardest thing in the world.
I am not talking about help like coaching or therapy sort of help.
We'll leave that to the professionals.
I am talking about the everyday tasks that must be managed or chaos will surely ensue.
This was brought to my attention so blatantly this week.
I am in a position of middle management type authority, have a team of 10 report to me and have 2 assistants. I've been unofficially in this position for 2 weeks. Officially, for 2 days. On day one of my official appointment, I was creeping dangerously close to 50 minutes and 4 crew members behind in my daily tasks. Yipe!
What could I do??
It was suggested to me by a member of the crew to use my resources. Delegate.
In other words, ask for help!
I'm really bad at it. Up till now, I've never been any good at it. The flash back of examples are still hittin' me. How many good things I've done could have been GREAT if only I'd have asked for help.
Don't get me wrong. This is not meant to be self depreciating at all. I've done a number of some very good things. I just was never really comfortable asking for help.
Call it an ego thing. Who wants to be seen as weak or incompetent? My dad sure did instill independence. But certainly in the context of a group, the leader must always bear in mind the good of the whole. In so doing, I listened.
It was really hard! But the results....
Today instead of being so far behind, we (yes WE, my assistants and I) were ahead of ourselves and the load felt light. The crew was happy because we got to address all concerns. The office personnel were happy because today's work was submitted within the prescribed time frame.
No one was put out or burdened. They were happy to get the job done!
Me?
I don't feel weak, incompetent or even dependent at all. I feel confident that the work of this particular crew will be great because we work as a team. I feel secure knowing there are people I can rely on. Together the burden is light.
How many things in my life would be that much easier if only I'd ask for help?
How many things in your life would be that much easier if only you'd ask for help?
May 21st.
How the heck did that happen? Seems like it was just May 8th and I was writing poems about my kids and being a mother.
Truth is, I've been crazy busy the last few weeks.
So busy I can't keep up with laundry.
So busy I can't keep up with my usual spring gardening.
Mopping? HA! That's a laugh.
I've even bailed on a yoga class or two.
It seems the more there is to do, the more I feel the need to do it.
By myself.
Anyone?
Asking for help seems to me to be the hardest thing in the world.
I am not talking about help like coaching or therapy sort of help.
We'll leave that to the professionals.
I am talking about the everyday tasks that must be managed or chaos will surely ensue.
This was brought to my attention so blatantly this week.
I am in a position of middle management type authority, have a team of 10 report to me and have 2 assistants. I've been unofficially in this position for 2 weeks. Officially, for 2 days. On day one of my official appointment, I was creeping dangerously close to 50 minutes and 4 crew members behind in my daily tasks. Yipe!
What could I do??
It was suggested to me by a member of the crew to use my resources. Delegate.
In other words, ask for help!
I'm really bad at it. Up till now, I've never been any good at it. The flash back of examples are still hittin' me. How many good things I've done could have been GREAT if only I'd have asked for help.
Don't get me wrong. This is not meant to be self depreciating at all. I've done a number of some very good things. I just was never really comfortable asking for help.
Call it an ego thing. Who wants to be seen as weak or incompetent? My dad sure did instill independence. But certainly in the context of a group, the leader must always bear in mind the good of the whole. In so doing, I listened.
It was really hard! But the results....
Today instead of being so far behind, we (yes WE, my assistants and I) were ahead of ourselves and the load felt light. The crew was happy because we got to address all concerns. The office personnel were happy because today's work was submitted within the prescribed time frame.
No one was put out or burdened. They were happy to get the job done!
Me?
I don't feel weak, incompetent or even dependent at all. I feel confident that the work of this particular crew will be great because we work as a team. I feel secure knowing there are people I can rely on. Together the burden is light.
How many things in my life would be that much easier if only I'd ask for help?
How many things in your life would be that much easier if only you'd ask for help?
Saturday, May 8, 2010
HALLELUJAH AND BLESSED BE!
I picked you.
You picked me.
Long before this history.
We knew our journey would be tough.
Up to the last breath we take.
Holding hands.
Forgiving mistakes.
Love remains while spirit floats free.
I thank God
That
I picked you and
You picked me.
I can now let go.
I can be so free.
Forgiving any and all perceived wrong
Or melody in discord with my own song.
So
HALLELUJAH
and
BLESSED BE!!
I picked you and you picked me.
The love remains.
The love surrounds.
There's more than enough to go around.
Do you remember where we got it from?
You may have been two or younger than one.
Our days just filled with joyful delight.
We laugh and we love from morning till night.
Walks to the park
Or glued to the floor,
We're superheros
On our trips to the store.
Eternities on the beach,
The castles we build.
Jumping waves with you
Leaves my heart filled.
Cupcakes in the classroom
On your special day.
It's my honor to celebrate you.
I do it everyday.
(REALLY!)
Where ever it came from,
This much I know.
Love never ends.
It continues to grow.
So my dear children,
My heavenly angel and my dear earthly three,
We've many more trails to hike and mountains to see.
What ever we've yet to face,
What ever it be,
I am humbled and honored
(and so very very grateful)
that
I picked you
and
You picked me.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Happiness Starts at the Stuffmart...
Ok.
It's a problem.
Not just my problem; it's a big problem.
I haven't felt safe enough to say it until...
Until....
They went and made a FaceBook page about it.
Now I feel safe enough to talk about it.
I TOO went to Target for shampoo and spent a hundred fifty dollars!!!!
What is it with this spending, buying, consuming, aquiring, stashing, hording, amassing----don't make me get the thesaurus----purchasing, bargain hunting??? Well we'll save money if we buy that! Right???
Sorry to say, friends, NOOOO!!!
We'll save money if we DON'T buy that!
Seriously, do I have to wait till Bath and Body Works January/June sale so I can stock pile hand soap and shower gel? Really? I need a different fragrance for each season? REALLY?
How about lipstick? Come on, fess up girls. Do I really need another one only a shade and a half from the 73 I already own? Oh! This one has plumperrrrr....yea, we need the plumperrrrr....
Candles, we need candles. Every flavor. Change with the seasons too. Not.
Socks 'cause they're on sale? Books? I must have ten books on the same concepts by ten different authors. Well now I need a smart looking tote bag for these books, right? How about a new handbag because, well, I don't have THAT color yet? Sundress cause it was cheap? Flip flops to match? Earrings too? Sun glasses? I know! Let's go to the OUTLETS!
GEEZE!
I realized, this week, that I truly have a problem. I was picking up a family member from the hospital after they were done with testing. (No worries, all is well.)
The hospital! You'd think I'd be safe there, right? As it turns out, on this particular day, the gift shop was having a close out sale to move inventory.
Okay, fair enough, I didn't have to go into the gift shop. Exactly. I didn't even have to go in! They had these crazy tables all over the lobby! It was like a flea market. So of COURSE I had to look. Come on! He was in recovery for an hour and a half! What's a girl to do??
I found a sweet tea scented candle. Twenty bucks. Whew. Put that down. Even at half price I don't need a lavender candle for ten. They had the same fragrance a size or two smaller. Six dollars. Half price. That makes three. I also had my youngest with me who wanted to buy a present for the person we were there to pick up.
Okay. A mug with a sweet saying. She's so thoughtful. Five bucks.
So my total purchase was eight dollars.
She was so sorry ma'am. They only took a debit card on purchases of $10 or more.
This was my moment. I could A)put the crap down and walk. or B)find another small item to make the $10 minimum or C)there's an ATM right over there ma'am where you can get some cash.
Yea. I went to the ATM. Took out the cash and made the purchase.
What void are we trying to fill?
What are we avoiding looking at and instead aquiring all this stuff to look at?
What anxieties will truly be calmed by more stuff?
Out of curiosity, is this unique to American culture?
Anyone?
This I know.
I lack nothing.
Serenity and peace are but one breath away.
My life is more abundant without this distracting stuff. Instead of time spent aquiring, then taking care of, then working to make more money to aquire more, how about a little simple abundance.
How about abundance of time spent with loved ones?
How about abundance of time spent with your Self?
How about abundance of natural beauty in the world around you to enjoy?
How about abundance of peace in letting go of the need to have more?
I lack nothing.
Neither do you.
Let's just be. We are after all human beings. We are not human doings nor are we human havings.
A few months back I blogged on frugality. While I am still pretty good at most concepts stated, I've not yet conquered this frivilous spending. Cutting corners at the grocery store does not justify spending the savings on junk I don't need!
I declare a DO OVER!
For the next sixty days I commit (uh oh...publicly)to a spending freeze. If the item is not an essential neccessity it's not going in the cart. Period.
I will use every drop of everything I already have before replacing it.
I'll maybe even find new ways to use old stuff. It's just enough already.
Who's in?
It's a problem.
Not just my problem; it's a big problem.
I haven't felt safe enough to say it until...
Until....
They went and made a FaceBook page about it.
Now I feel safe enough to talk about it.
I TOO went to Target for shampoo and spent a hundred fifty dollars!!!!
What is it with this spending, buying, consuming, aquiring, stashing, hording, amassing----don't make me get the thesaurus----purchasing, bargain hunting??? Well we'll save money if we buy that! Right???
Sorry to say, friends, NOOOO!!!
We'll save money if we DON'T buy that!
Seriously, do I have to wait till Bath and Body Works January/June sale so I can stock pile hand soap and shower gel? Really? I need a different fragrance for each season? REALLY?
How about lipstick? Come on, fess up girls. Do I really need another one only a shade and a half from the 73 I already own? Oh! This one has plumperrrrr....yea, we need the plumperrrrr....
Candles, we need candles. Every flavor. Change with the seasons too. Not.
Socks 'cause they're on sale? Books? I must have ten books on the same concepts by ten different authors. Well now I need a smart looking tote bag for these books, right? How about a new handbag because, well, I don't have THAT color yet? Sundress cause it was cheap? Flip flops to match? Earrings too? Sun glasses? I know! Let's go to the OUTLETS!
GEEZE!
I realized, this week, that I truly have a problem. I was picking up a family member from the hospital after they were done with testing. (No worries, all is well.)
The hospital! You'd think I'd be safe there, right? As it turns out, on this particular day, the gift shop was having a close out sale to move inventory.
Okay, fair enough, I didn't have to go into the gift shop. Exactly. I didn't even have to go in! They had these crazy tables all over the lobby! It was like a flea market. So of COURSE I had to look. Come on! He was in recovery for an hour and a half! What's a girl to do??
I found a sweet tea scented candle. Twenty bucks. Whew. Put that down. Even at half price I don't need a lavender candle for ten. They had the same fragrance a size or two smaller. Six dollars. Half price. That makes three. I also had my youngest with me who wanted to buy a present for the person we were there to pick up.
Okay. A mug with a sweet saying. She's so thoughtful. Five bucks.
So my total purchase was eight dollars.
She was so sorry ma'am. They only took a debit card on purchases of $10 or more.
This was my moment. I could A)put the crap down and walk. or B)find another small item to make the $10 minimum or C)there's an ATM right over there ma'am where you can get some cash.
Yea. I went to the ATM. Took out the cash and made the purchase.
What void are we trying to fill?
What are we avoiding looking at and instead aquiring all this stuff to look at?
What anxieties will truly be calmed by more stuff?
Out of curiosity, is this unique to American culture?
Anyone?
This I know.
I lack nothing.
Serenity and peace are but one breath away.
My life is more abundant without this distracting stuff. Instead of time spent aquiring, then taking care of, then working to make more money to aquire more, how about a little simple abundance.
How about abundance of time spent with loved ones?
How about abundance of time spent with your Self?
How about abundance of natural beauty in the world around you to enjoy?
How about abundance of peace in letting go of the need to have more?
I lack nothing.
Neither do you.
Let's just be. We are after all human beings. We are not human doings nor are we human havings.
A few months back I blogged on frugality. While I am still pretty good at most concepts stated, I've not yet conquered this frivilous spending. Cutting corners at the grocery store does not justify spending the savings on junk I don't need!
I declare a DO OVER!
For the next sixty days I commit (uh oh...publicly)to a spending freeze. If the item is not an essential neccessity it's not going in the cart. Period.
I will use every drop of everything I already have before replacing it.
I'll maybe even find new ways to use old stuff. It's just enough already.
Who's in?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Waving the White Flag.....
Surrender...
Hmmmm....
Surrender...
Are we waiving a white flag? Are we giving in? Did we some how create a win/lose situation? Are we still able to stand our ground?
Or, does it provide that ever elusive serenity that I often jump through hoops to experience?
I find that there are so many factors in any given situation that are beyond my control. That being the case, 80% of any of my successes come from just showing up.
There are many things I am responsible for but showing up, just showing up is more than half the battle.
I was in a discussion about a pretty heavy topic with someone close to me recently.
This was one of those decision making type discussions. I did enter in with my preferred outcome in mind, as I often do. This time though, I truly wanted the decision to be mutually reached and fully agreed upon. Not asking for "my way" here.
That there was Step 1 for me. Not asking for my way. Accepting the things I cannot change, as it were.
Into the conversation I was not hearing what I wanted to or even what I thought I would. So here's what I did.
I sat back.
I took some deep calming breaths.
I shut my mouth.
(It does a world of good to shut one's mouth. Two ears, one mouth, you do the math.)
Then I listened.
I listened with my ears, my heart, and my higher self.
I gained a good amount of respect for the person I was talking with and their position. Even better, I realized that it did not change what I think, how I feel, or disturb my peace of mind. The fact that we did not even come to a concrete decision leaves me undisturbed as well. There are some issues in the way of making this decision. But they are not mine.
They are not mine.
How wonderfully freeing it is to understand that.
They are not mine.
I do not have to work hard to convince this other person about anything.
I do not have to fix them.
I do not have to look after them.
I do not have to seek solutions for them.
This is where it gets simple. *Note that simple and easy are not the same!
Sometimes the answer is no answer.
Sometimes the outcome will play out to be a situation or scenario better than what I could conceive of. Sometimes it will be what I didn't even know I wanted.
That is the type of surrender I'm talking about here. Not conceding to another's point of view or agenda....
...just sittin' back and bending with the flow of life.
Take a deep breath.
Let life in.
Hmmmm....
Surrender...
Are we waiving a white flag? Are we giving in? Did we some how create a win/lose situation? Are we still able to stand our ground?
Or, does it provide that ever elusive serenity that I often jump through hoops to experience?
I find that there are so many factors in any given situation that are beyond my control. That being the case, 80% of any of my successes come from just showing up.
There are many things I am responsible for but showing up, just showing up is more than half the battle.
I was in a discussion about a pretty heavy topic with someone close to me recently.
This was one of those decision making type discussions. I did enter in with my preferred outcome in mind, as I often do. This time though, I truly wanted the decision to be mutually reached and fully agreed upon. Not asking for "my way" here.
That there was Step 1 for me. Not asking for my way. Accepting the things I cannot change, as it were.
Into the conversation I was not hearing what I wanted to or even what I thought I would. So here's what I did.
I sat back.
I took some deep calming breaths.
I shut my mouth.
(It does a world of good to shut one's mouth. Two ears, one mouth, you do the math.)
Then I listened.
I listened with my ears, my heart, and my higher self.
I gained a good amount of respect for the person I was talking with and their position. Even better, I realized that it did not change what I think, how I feel, or disturb my peace of mind. The fact that we did not even come to a concrete decision leaves me undisturbed as well. There are some issues in the way of making this decision. But they are not mine.
They are not mine.
How wonderfully freeing it is to understand that.
They are not mine.
I do not have to work hard to convince this other person about anything.
I do not have to fix them.
I do not have to look after them.
I do not have to seek solutions for them.
This is where it gets simple. *Note that simple and easy are not the same!
Sometimes the answer is no answer.
Sometimes the outcome will play out to be a situation or scenario better than what I could conceive of. Sometimes it will be what I didn't even know I wanted.
That is the type of surrender I'm talking about here. Not conceding to another's point of view or agenda....
...just sittin' back and bending with the flow of life.
Take a deep breath.
Let life in.
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