Ahhhh, 5:50 am.
It is my most favorite time of the day. See, that is when my son's alarm goes off. He sets it early so he can hit the snooze. At one time I was baffled by this practice. Why the heck not just set the alarm for when you plan to actually get out of bed? Why do they even MAKE snooze alarms? I did not get it.
Now when I hear his alarm it represents the 10 minute warning to my own.
And let me tell you about those glorious ten minutes.
I spend exactly three of them going over my day and it goes something like this:
Okay what day what day what day...oh yea today is Friday. Hmmmm, meet with that kid at one, get a hold of Caiti's friend, have a cd for her, oh yea, my office mate would really benefit from it too, copy the cd. Take my coat to the dry cleaners, Gallagher sure was funny last week but what a wreck my coat is, wonder how Marie's doing, gotta pay the oil bill, OMG gotta mail that box to my brother! That baby's gotta be three months old by now! I stink so bad at these things! Have a li'l something to send to my Aussie friends too. For Christmas. Mmm Hmmm...Christmas. Good thing I never buy calendars as gifts. Maybe I should blog about procrastinating. Yea, another time. Chicken salad in lettuce cups for dinner. Quick fridge inventory. Good, I have the chicken AND the lettuce. Go me. Oh crap! Still out of olive oil. Maybe I'll squeeze Shop Rite in. Leaving debit card home tho. I ONLY need olive oil! How bout work work work work hmmmmm....oh yea, call on existing clients for Happy New Year. I'm good, it's still January. Set appointments for next week, register for that writer's workshop on Wed. OMG Wed! Check and see if I can move Wed morning appt so I can spend some time with a very dear friend. Make sure my son called the scout patrol. Why do their responsibilities turn into mine? Ah...good for him, he's finally a patrol leader. Check in w/my daughter's guidance counselor. All is well. Just have to check. Aunt coming out of hospital tomorrow, have flowers/card ready when she gets there. Some one's GOT to pair those socks already, maybe I'll get to that today or maybe that should go on the rotating chore chart. OMG!! My turn to feed the dogs......got it! This should be a great day.
And then........
NOTHING.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I do not go back to sleep. I spend seven minutes in that quiet corner of my mind. My mind, though, is not really accurate. The above is how my mind is all the time.
I go to that "other" place inside. This is meditation. Some people picture a beachy place or mountains. I did too when I first learned to meditate. I still do.
But not in those very special seven minutes of my day. That is when I hit my restart. I listen for my breath. I pay very close attention to anything my body has to tell me. It is when/where I reconnect with my Source. I express my gratitude for the new day. It is of course, yet another opportunity for a DO OVER. Some days I find the Lord's Prayer very helpful in getting me "there"; that place of "nowhere". I have a need for this sort of space in my day. Without it, things often go awry in a very out of control way. Things tend to go awry sometimes anyway, but with some space, I find I can breathe my way through most anything.
Because, after the seven minutes typically it's very nutty and I'm referring to just the amount of time between waking and getting the kids off to school. I'll use this very morning as an example.....
Ahh...5:50, the aforementioned THINK, 7 minutes of blissful nothing, and 6:00 Mookie's scratchin' on my door. I outsmart him by entering the bathroom through my bedroom instead of the hall entrance. Yes I DO take pride in outsmarting my dog. He's part shepherd. Very smart and often challenges me to a contest of smarts. That's a whole nother blog though. In the bathroom, AUUGGHH!! No paper!! CRAP! (literally) Run down to the powder room. Trip over the dog. Dog is now so confused and stalks me outside the powder room. "She never uses that one at this time of day" Duck into the laundry room to run the dryer on the same load for the second time. Make a mental note to call the dryer guy. Head out to feed pets. Dog trips me again. This time I bang my arm on the corner of the wall entering the kitchen. Nice bruise. Do the "OW dance". Feed the dogs. Cat is ballistic as usual. He cannot understand why "thoooose two" (his words) get fed before he does. So he does the winding between my legs dance until I am actually dancing to avoid tripping on him too. Pull out the cat food box. Lid wasn't tight. Cat food all over the floor. REALLY???? Fuming now and cat still aggressively rubbing on me and meowing his head off in a very cynical, almost mocking Jack Nicholson sort of way. Clean up the food. Put his dish on the counter. Scooping food into....cat jumps up, hits my hand, food on the floor again. REALLY, BILL???? R-E-A-L-L-Y??? Cat sneers. I swear. Let the dogs out.
Okay, the kids. ACK! I promised pancakes today. Yes, cooked breakfast daily. When child with car thinks its a good idea to go out to breakfast in place of first period, child gets keys taken and breakfast cooked at home. It makes perfect sense to me.
Shit! We are out of Bisquick! Pull out the cookbook and have at the scratch recipe. (it truly is just as easy and much tastier.) Open the fridge. No milk but man that Corona is looking mighty good right now. I'll just use half and half with water. (it worked!!)
Made the lunches in between flipping the flap jacks, listened to today's thought from our "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" calendar, took a phone call, and got the cherubs off to school. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Ahhhh....I just poured my coffee. Had to have the french vanilla creamer because I used all of the half and half in the pancakes.
I am very glad for these few moments of peace.
There is still a whole day in front of me. It is very likely that I will carve out time tonight to find that space again. I actually do schedule mandatory "self care" time on Friday nights. It's my date with me. Life is just too hectic. Sometimes even in the first hour of the day.
Maybe slowing down is not an option at this juncture. The kids, the pets, the friends, the house, the work, the self care are a lot to deal with. Certainly finding small pockets of breathing space is imperative. For me, anyway.
I'm going back for another 7.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I wonder what my son does with his extra 10 minutes?
Friday, January 15, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
C'mon and THINK!
I am a little fired up this morning and I just might rant.
Bear with me and again, keep what resonates and leave the rest!
I mean no offense to anyone. These are just ramblings of my observations, thoughts and opinions.
I decided I am going to write the book. I have an outline, the note cards, and volumes of journals and all for a good while! I've just been hesitant. I don't have a degree in anything. Been an at home mom for years mixed in with some odd music jobs and the disastrous year I spent in retail. (Bath and Body Works-CRIPES! Spent more than I made!) I am now a practicing financial consultant and learning that as I go. Really...a book? Me?
Well let me tell you. Yes. Me. It's time and here's how I know. I went to see the comedian Gallagher last night. While most of his comedy is intelligent and cerebral, for example, seriously, why don't all of the _omb words rhyme? tomb, comb, bomb? And why DOES my teenager say something is "sick nasty" when indeed they mean it's good? Who knows? Ultimately, this guy Gallagher renders his opinion on things he thinks about, thinks up various ways to smash fruit, vegetables and all other manner of condiments, gooey stuff, and syrups ET CE TERA,
AND PEOPLE PAY TO SEE HIM TO DO IT!
REALLY???
His overall theme was about thinking. He encouraged his audience to think independently and creatively. This message has been presented to me in several ways in just the last 18-24 months. Sometimes the message came from books I picked up, sometimes from influential people I've met in Primerica, once from my life coach and last night from Gallagher. BTW, this is how the Universe usually communicates with me. The same message is sent again and again until finally I pick it up and act on it.
Some books I've picked up and highly recommend are THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill. Dale Carnegie hired Mr. Hill to go out and interview all of the great millionaires of the day who built their empires from nothing. Hill was paid a life's wages by Carnegie to find out the common denominator among these men and their success. Thus the title of the book.
On two separate occasions I had the great fortune of participating in an intimately set Q & A with 2 of my company's pioneers, founders, and cash machines. [both women ;)] Both began their careers and base much of their success on the principles in this book. One of them, and pay attention here, this is big. One of them gave strong advice. She said, "Go buy this book. Put it on your nightstand. Even if you do nothing else, pick it up and read the cover once in the morning and once at night. At least get the message that you have to THINK!"
Another really good one is Dr. Wayne Dyer's CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS---CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
This is a collection of 81 essays. Each expands upon each of the 81 verses of the ancient text, the Tao. I could write volumes about this after having read and re-read it a number of times.
Please don't misread here. This is not about religion or one certain philosophy. The Bible is a good one too. Crack that baby open and have a look and a think for yourself as to what God is saying.
I was inspired to do this while teaching Sunday School and after reading CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD 1,2,& 3 by Neal Donald Walsh.
The Koran. The Kaballah....these two I have only skimmed.
The Secret. The Law of Attraction. The Moses Code. My point here is that all of these have similar themes and slight variations on the same message. Though many consider it all New Age, ain't none of it new. Some is presented in shiny new packaging but there is nothing new under the sun. Especially thinking!
I hired a life coach early in 2009 for many reasons. I find life coaches to be more proactive and forthcoming with coping tools and skills rather than just talk therapists. I've tried both. This is just my preference. Anyway, in late fall of last year I was having a very tough time with what we call "the sads" in my house. I checked in with Mike and he reminded me that missing Caiti and being sad about it was only one part of the story. The other part of course, was her love, her light, the beautiful way she walked in the world and all of the happy memories we shared. Then he asked me which part of the story I'd rather focus on and THINK about!
HMPH!!
I gotta tell ya, at first I had a ton of trouble with this.
I was insulted and almost angry that he would suggest the depth of my grief could be changed by simply changing my mind about it. REALLY????
Later I found that this concept works. Change the focus. Choose a new thought. All manner of thoughts are available all the time. So pick something different to think about. It truly is that simple. Simple and easy are not, however, interchangeable. I do remind myself, sometimes out loud, "Change the thought please! I need a better one than that!!" All things with practice. The sads still come but I am now able to navigate my way through them much easier.
There is a point here. Last night Gallagher went on about independent, creative thought. It is what this country was founded and built on. Good stuff. He lamented that it is rarely seen in America today. We send our children to school to learn to conform. That's a whole 'nother blog though.
Back to the book. I'm going to write and share all these stories and all these thoughts. I do not have a degree, did not spend hours digesting text after text at an institution of higher learning, nor are there any letters after my name. I did finish 3 years of a Music Ed degree, but it hardly applies here.
However, I did get my learnin' on in the school of life. I do have stories to share and opinions to render that just might resonate with someone else. Some of these are just too much of a gift to hold onto. That is the thought I am sticking with.
What thoughts hold you back? What have you always thought about doing but haven't yet? Maybe it is as simple as choosing a new thought about it.
Even Aretha Franklin reminds us to, "C'mon and THINK."
Bear with me and again, keep what resonates and leave the rest!
I mean no offense to anyone. These are just ramblings of my observations, thoughts and opinions.
I decided I am going to write the book. I have an outline, the note cards, and volumes of journals and all for a good while! I've just been hesitant. I don't have a degree in anything. Been an at home mom for years mixed in with some odd music jobs and the disastrous year I spent in retail. (Bath and Body Works-CRIPES! Spent more than I made!) I am now a practicing financial consultant and learning that as I go. Really...a book? Me?
Well let me tell you. Yes. Me. It's time and here's how I know. I went to see the comedian Gallagher last night. While most of his comedy is intelligent and cerebral, for example, seriously, why don't all of the _omb words rhyme? tomb, comb, bomb? And why DOES my teenager say something is "sick nasty" when indeed they mean it's good? Who knows? Ultimately, this guy Gallagher renders his opinion on things he thinks about, thinks up various ways to smash fruit, vegetables and all other manner of condiments, gooey stuff, and syrups ET CE TERA,
AND PEOPLE PAY TO SEE HIM TO DO IT!
REALLY???
His overall theme was about thinking. He encouraged his audience to think independently and creatively. This message has been presented to me in several ways in just the last 18-24 months. Sometimes the message came from books I picked up, sometimes from influential people I've met in Primerica, once from my life coach and last night from Gallagher. BTW, this is how the Universe usually communicates with me. The same message is sent again and again until finally I pick it up and act on it.
Some books I've picked up and highly recommend are THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill. Dale Carnegie hired Mr. Hill to go out and interview all of the great millionaires of the day who built their empires from nothing. Hill was paid a life's wages by Carnegie to find out the common denominator among these men and their success. Thus the title of the book.
On two separate occasions I had the great fortune of participating in an intimately set Q & A with 2 of my company's pioneers, founders, and cash machines. [both women ;)] Both began their careers and base much of their success on the principles in this book. One of them, and pay attention here, this is big. One of them gave strong advice. She said, "Go buy this book. Put it on your nightstand. Even if you do nothing else, pick it up and read the cover once in the morning and once at night. At least get the message that you have to THINK!"
Another really good one is Dr. Wayne Dyer's CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS---CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
This is a collection of 81 essays. Each expands upon each of the 81 verses of the ancient text, the Tao. I could write volumes about this after having read and re-read it a number of times.
Please don't misread here. This is not about religion or one certain philosophy. The Bible is a good one too. Crack that baby open and have a look and a think for yourself as to what God is saying.
I was inspired to do this while teaching Sunday School and after reading CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD 1,2,& 3 by Neal Donald Walsh.
The Koran. The Kaballah....these two I have only skimmed.
The Secret. The Law of Attraction. The Moses Code. My point here is that all of these have similar themes and slight variations on the same message. Though many consider it all New Age, ain't none of it new. Some is presented in shiny new packaging but there is nothing new under the sun. Especially thinking!
I hired a life coach early in 2009 for many reasons. I find life coaches to be more proactive and forthcoming with coping tools and skills rather than just talk therapists. I've tried both. This is just my preference. Anyway, in late fall of last year I was having a very tough time with what we call "the sads" in my house. I checked in with Mike and he reminded me that missing Caiti and being sad about it was only one part of the story. The other part of course, was her love, her light, the beautiful way she walked in the world and all of the happy memories we shared. Then he asked me which part of the story I'd rather focus on and THINK about!
HMPH!!
I gotta tell ya, at first I had a ton of trouble with this.
I was insulted and almost angry that he would suggest the depth of my grief could be changed by simply changing my mind about it. REALLY????
Later I found that this concept works. Change the focus. Choose a new thought. All manner of thoughts are available all the time. So pick something different to think about. It truly is that simple. Simple and easy are not, however, interchangeable. I do remind myself, sometimes out loud, "Change the thought please! I need a better one than that!!" All things with practice. The sads still come but I am now able to navigate my way through them much easier.
There is a point here. Last night Gallagher went on about independent, creative thought. It is what this country was founded and built on. Good stuff. He lamented that it is rarely seen in America today. We send our children to school to learn to conform. That's a whole 'nother blog though.
Back to the book. I'm going to write and share all these stories and all these thoughts. I do not have a degree, did not spend hours digesting text after text at an institution of higher learning, nor are there any letters after my name. I did finish 3 years of a Music Ed degree, but it hardly applies here.
However, I did get my learnin' on in the school of life. I do have stories to share and opinions to render that just might resonate with someone else. Some of these are just too much of a gift to hold onto. That is the thought I am sticking with.
What thoughts hold you back? What have you always thought about doing but haven't yet? Maybe it is as simple as choosing a new thought about it.
Even Aretha Franklin reminds us to, "C'mon and THINK."
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