Breathe.....

Ahhhh, 5:50 am.
It is my most favorite time of the day. See, that is when my son's alarm goes off. He sets it early so he can hit the snooze. At one time I was baffled by this practice. Why the heck not just set the alarm for when you plan to actually get out of bed? Why do they even MAKE snooze alarms? I did not get it.
Now when I hear his alarm it represents the 10 minute warning to my own.
And let me tell you about those glorious ten minutes.
I spend exactly three of them going over my day and it goes something like this:

Okay what day what day what day...oh yea today is Friday. Hmmmm, meet with that kid at one, get a hold of Caiti's friend, have a cd for her, oh yea, my office mate would really benefit from it too, copy the cd. Take my coat to the dry cleaners, Gallagher sure was funny last week but what a wreck my coat is, wonder how Marie's doing, gotta pay the oil bill, OMG gotta mail that box to my brother! That baby's gotta be three months old by now! I stink so bad at these things! Have a li'l something to send to my Aussie friends too. For Christmas. Mmm Hmmm...Christmas. Good thing I never buy calendars as gifts. Maybe I should blog about procrastinating. Yea, another time. Chicken salad in lettuce cups for dinner. Quick fridge inventory. Good, I have the chicken AND the lettuce. Go me. Oh crap! Still out of olive oil. Maybe I'll squeeze Shop Rite in. Leaving debit card home tho. I ONLY need olive oil! How bout work work work work hmmmmm....oh yea, call on existing clients for Happy New Year. I'm good, it's still January. Set appointments for next week, register for that writer's workshop on Wed. OMG Wed! Check and see if I can move Wed morning appt so I can spend some time with a very dear friend. Make sure my son called the scout patrol. Why do their responsibilities turn into mine? Ah...good for him, he's finally a patrol leader. Check in w/my daughter's guidance counselor. All is well. Just have to check. Aunt coming out of hospital tomorrow, have flowers/card ready when she gets there. Some one's GOT to pair those socks already, maybe I'll get to that today or maybe that should go on the rotating chore chart. OMG!! My turn to feed the dogs......got it! This should be a great day.

And then........
NOTHING.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I do not go back to sleep. I spend seven minutes in that quiet corner of my mind. My mind, though, is not really accurate. The above is how my mind is all the time.
I go to that "other" place inside. This is meditation. Some people picture a beachy place or mountains. I did too when I first learned to meditate. I still do.
But not in those very special seven minutes of my day. That is when I hit my restart. I listen for my breath. I pay very close attention to anything my body has to tell me. It is when/where I reconnect with my Source. I express my gratitude for the new day. It is of course, yet another opportunity for a DO OVER. Some days I find the Lord's Prayer very helpful in getting me "there"; that place of "nowhere". I have a need for this sort of space in my day. Without it, things often go awry in a very out of control way. Things tend to go awry sometimes anyway, but with some space, I find I can breathe my way through most anything.

Because, after the seven minutes typically it's very nutty and I'm referring to just the amount of time between waking and getting the kids off to school. I'll use this very morning as an example.....

Ahh...5:50, the aforementioned THINK, 7 minutes of blissful nothing, and 6:00 Mookie's scratchin' on my door. I outsmart him by entering the bathroom through my bedroom instead of the hall entrance. Yes I DO take pride in outsmarting my dog. He's part shepherd. Very smart and often challenges me to a contest of smarts. That's a whole nother blog though. In the bathroom, AUUGGHH!! No paper!! CRAP! (literally) Run down to the powder room. Trip over the dog. Dog is now so confused and stalks me outside the powder room. "She never uses that one at this time of day" Duck into the laundry room to run the dryer on the same load for the second time. Make a mental note to call the dryer guy. Head out to feed pets. Dog trips me again. This time I bang my arm on the corner of the wall entering the kitchen. Nice bruise. Do the "OW dance". Feed the dogs. Cat is ballistic as usual. He cannot understand why "thoooose two" (his words) get fed before he does. So he does the winding between my legs dance until I am actually dancing to avoid tripping on him too. Pull out the cat food box. Lid wasn't tight. Cat food all over the floor. REALLY???? Fuming now and cat still aggressively rubbing on me and meowing his head off in a very cynical, almost mocking Jack Nicholson sort of way. Clean up the food. Put his dish on the counter. Scooping food into....cat jumps up, hits my hand, food on the floor again. REALLY, BILL???? R-E-A-L-L-Y??? Cat sneers. I swear. Let the dogs out.

Okay, the kids. ACK! I promised pancakes today. Yes, cooked breakfast daily. When child with car thinks its a good idea to go out to breakfast in place of first period, child gets keys taken and breakfast cooked at home. It makes perfect sense to me.
Shit! We are out of Bisquick! Pull out the cookbook and have at the scratch recipe. (it truly is just as easy and much tastier.) Open the fridge. No milk but man that Corona is looking mighty good right now. I'll just use half and half with water. (it worked!!)
Made the lunches in between flipping the flap jacks, listened to today's thought from our "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" calendar, took a phone call, and got the cherubs off to school. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Ahhhh....I just poured my coffee. Had to have the french vanilla creamer because I used all of the half and half in the pancakes.
I am very glad for these few moments of peace.
There is still a whole day in front of me. It is very likely that I will carve out time tonight to find that space again. I actually do schedule mandatory "self care" time on Friday nights. It's my date with me. Life is just too hectic. Sometimes even in the first hour of the day.
Maybe slowing down is not an option at this juncture. The kids, the pets, the friends, the house, the work, the self care are a lot to deal with. Certainly finding small pockets of breathing space is imperative. For me, anyway.

I'm going back for another 7.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.

I wonder what my son does with his extra 10 minutes?