BABY!!
So I just posted on being offended. (go read that one first--we'll be here when you're done!)
I have to share my Saturday night antics, surprises and complete turn around which was also of my own choosing. (I am beginning to see a pattern here)
So I had a crappy week. I was really down on myself and totally depressed. It came to having spent most of the week in tears. None of my tricks were working!! So I succumbed because, sometimes you just have to cry. No, really, sometimes, you just have to go cry about that!
By Saturday it was like this. Cried through feeding my Mookie, my morning coffee, and my shower. Got in the car. Lots of make up on to cover the red splotchy cry face. Tears began...CRAP!! I was on my way to the office!! I can't cry NOW! So I figured out this face. I squintched up my nose and raised my lip up with it and wa-la! Tears stopped! Ok. Good. God only knows what this looks like at the red light, but I wasn't crying.
I got to the office, did my thing and got back into my car and was crying again! CRIPES!! I blinked. I squintched. I lifted my lip. Nothin. So I did what any girl would do and went to the park to cry it out. Cry. Cry. Cry. I ran out of park time and pulled myself reasonably together because I now had to face my kids. Cry days are much easier when they're in school! I was kind of okay but DANG they know me too well!! A few drops fell through pizza and the cupcake my daughter bought to cheer me. (I L-O-V-E cake. It cures anything!!)
I had plans to go out with friends. After pizza the kids went to their dad's. Hmph. The door didn't even close yet and I was crying again. Then my mind started going.
Maybe I should stay home.
What a drag I am.
Who's gonna want to hang w/me like this?
Wish to hell I could pull myself together!
I know!
I am going to go out tonight and drown these blues with my friend Jack. (single barrel, silver label, if you please)
That's what I'll do....lose these blues in a bottle of booze.
It then began to snow. Although I was meant to be at a neighborhood bar, it was not in MY neighborhood. I didn't care about no stinkin snow. I got myself ready; again way the heck more makeup than usual to compensate for cry face. Nothing was going to hold me back. I was almost a little excited even. I was gonna be baaaad. Stir some trouble. Yeaaaa...You must know that I usually don't drink more than 2-3 glasses of wine in a week. Most times less! Also,(*disclaimer*) I am not in the practice of drinking and driving. I have a good deal worked out with my driving teenager and I was in the company of many who'd have seen to my safety.
Got in the car...... CRY!!!
REALLY???
Maybe it would have helped to shut Sarah Maclaughlin the heck off, but more on that later.
So I got to the bar (safely, despite the snow, the continually iced up windshiled, and the blurred vision through tears) and don't you just know I left my STINKIN cash in my other STINKIN pants (I thought only guys did this?)and so I didn't drink. Rustled up a fiver for one glass of wine at about 9:30. Stayed till 2.
Really. I was sober.
The night was going on. Karaoke was being sung. Sometimes it was sung well and sometimes we all had a good laugh. A friend was there who I haven't seen in quite a while. She spoke of Cait, my marriage, this blog and her thoughts on all of that. She offered a gift of perfect encouragement at precisely the right time. I tried not to cry to no avail. Thank God it was just a few drops.
Feeling a little awkward I was unsure how the rest of the night would go.
Into the bar walks this man. Man has a bag with him. Inside the bag are a set of bongos and an eggshaker. Yes. Eggshaker. There is nothing funner in the whole wide world than eggshaking! This guy was brilliant on the bongos. He played with another friend. He came over to me and asked me if I "egg". Do I "egg"? To be truthful, I have dabbled in the art of eggshakery. He handed me the eggshaker and then the magic happened. He was impressed with my mad egging skill and said he wanted to start a band with a kickin' percussion ensemble. He asked me if I'd be the egger. HOORAY! This brought me one step closer to a very top secret dream of mine. I have allllways wanted to be an "ooooh-girl". You know, a back up singer. I agreed to be the egger. When this project goes down, I am all over it!! Anyway, I went on egging as he played bongo with another friend. I continually picked up on and played off of their energy and rhythm. I was funner than fun. There is that special place in between time and space where musicians connect and create. I just do love it there.
By the end of the night, I was filled with joy. I had egged my way through every bad karaoke song, sang one (I Will Survive---are you surprised?), laughed, danced, and had a really fun evening. At closing this percussionist was packing up his bongos and I offered him back the egg. He let me keep it!! I passed the audition AND have a souvenier!! I will keep it with me for all of my days!
Who knew that so much joy could be contained in a little plastic egg that has beads inside?
Guess what?
It wasn't the egg. That joy came from within. The egg certainly was a conduit. But the joy-- the essence of the joy was mine. I just had to shake it up a little.
Here's my point. Back to Sarah Maclaughlin....LOVE her! I do. But she makes me cry. If I so choose, I can stay in complete cry mode and leave it on. Or I can change the CD. A little Bruce Springsteen anyone? I'm workin on my dream, you?
I certainly am comin' on up for the rising. You?
Playing that little egg, shaking it all up, choosing to play and stop my wallowing changed my rhythm, my vibration. There is science to this. It is part of sacred drumming. It works! It moves your essence around. Shakes it up a bit. You don't have to believe me. Go google. Take a look at sound healing while your at it. Good stuff!
So, if you ever see me at the red light with a squintched up face shaking my egg, you'll know it's not been a good day but it is certainly is on it's way to better.
Eggshakers.
The official tool of the 2010
DO OVER!!
Be blessed!
(and thank you bongo man! Where ever you are....)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Please don't be offended!
Oh what a week it's been.
Did you ever have one o' those? Anything that could go wrong absolutely does no matter how you try to reframe and gain perspective? It was absolutely that way for me. My son's givin' me a run for my money, my business is a challenge, I forgot to pay a bill last month (no worries...got 'er done), an inner wrestling match brought on by several messages from the universe all on the same topic, people not talkin' to me over some offense or other, other people talkin' to me about not talkin to me, missed appointments AND a new friend.
Hmmmm...This friend who has now inspired a 2nd blog (thank you for the way you move me back in line with my Source and make me think). She turned me on to a modern TV evangelist. I have read this woman's work. I like her in print so I gave it a go. I am not a stranger to television evangelism. Some is really worth the half hour you'll spend watching and the whole day you'll spend reflecting on the message.
This weeks WHOOOOOLLLLLEEEE stinkin message (yes, STINKIN! I'm still workin' it out)was on being offended. Not JUST being offended but how it is your choice to take offense or not when some one speaks to you a certain way.
REALLY??????
I'm offended.
So and so said such and such and this and that and 14 other nasty things six nasty ways till Tuesday and you're telling me that being offended is my own choosing???
With verses of Jesus's words to back it up even????
OUCH....and that was only Monday.
Don't know about you, but if Jesus said it, I believe it. I believe it and I trust it. Refer to Colossians Ch 3"...humbleness...forbearing...forgive...Jesus forgave...put on charity" John 14;27 "...my peace I give you..." Ephesians 4:2"...be patient, bearing with one another in love"
I cannot deny that this is all very good advice from a very reliable source! I also cannot deny that I have fallen short of the mark on this particular topic. Way short.
Just to be sure I got the message loud and clear, good ol' universe hit the resend button on Friday through my friend Tim Durling. Tim's facebook post that day read:
If something I say creates a pit in your stomach, it is not about me, what I said, or my personal history; it is about you, what you heard, and your personal history. If it changes our relationship, you have judged me and are blind to the Truth that we are both perfect spirits. I still love us both. The journey continues. And so it is.
For the record, Tim, still love you too, however, I continue to wrestle. A little.
And, Tim, my apologies. Didn't mean to judge you.
But that is the truth of the Truth, as I see it anyway. As the conversation went on, I realised that many (myself included) operate from a place of pain. Their human sometimes gets in the way of the brilliantly perfect spirit that we all are.
For me, I meet that sort of thing with my human. Better said, I meet it with my ego and oh how that can escalate!
Hmph. (don't know what to say)
I now know that what others say is what they own and comes from a place inside them.
I do not need to own any of it even if is an opinion about me. If I feel the pit, I can just make a note of that and explore later either through journaling, talking with a well trusted friend or whatever. I no longer need to take offense. It's not mine. Yippee.
Finally, some o' that peace that Jesus promised.
Ahhhhh.....
But not before forgiveness. Starting with me.
Who offends you? What things, words, or topics trip your trigger?
Forgive yourself and humbly choose again.
DO OVER!!
Be blessed.
Did you ever have one o' those? Anything that could go wrong absolutely does no matter how you try to reframe and gain perspective? It was absolutely that way for me. My son's givin' me a run for my money, my business is a challenge, I forgot to pay a bill last month (no worries...got 'er done), an inner wrestling match brought on by several messages from the universe all on the same topic, people not talkin' to me over some offense or other, other people talkin' to me about not talkin to me, missed appointments AND a new friend.
Hmmmm...This friend who has now inspired a 2nd blog (thank you for the way you move me back in line with my Source and make me think). She turned me on to a modern TV evangelist. I have read this woman's work. I like her in print so I gave it a go. I am not a stranger to television evangelism. Some is really worth the half hour you'll spend watching and the whole day you'll spend reflecting on the message.
This weeks WHOOOOOLLLLLEEEE stinkin message (yes, STINKIN! I'm still workin' it out)was on being offended. Not JUST being offended but how it is your choice to take offense or not when some one speaks to you a certain way.
REALLY??????
I'm offended.
So and so said such and such and this and that and 14 other nasty things six nasty ways till Tuesday and you're telling me that being offended is my own choosing???
With verses of Jesus's words to back it up even????
OUCH....and that was only Monday.
Don't know about you, but if Jesus said it, I believe it. I believe it and I trust it. Refer to Colossians Ch 3"...humbleness...forbearing...forgive...Jesus forgave...put on charity" John 14;27 "...my peace I give you..." Ephesians 4:2"...be patient, bearing with one another in love"
I cannot deny that this is all very good advice from a very reliable source! I also cannot deny that I have fallen short of the mark on this particular topic. Way short.
Just to be sure I got the message loud and clear, good ol' universe hit the resend button on Friday through my friend Tim Durling. Tim's facebook post that day read:
If something I say creates a pit in your stomach, it is not about me, what I said, or my personal history; it is about you, what you heard, and your personal history. If it changes our relationship, you have judged me and are blind to the Truth that we are both perfect spirits. I still love us both. The journey continues. And so it is.
For the record, Tim, still love you too, however, I continue to wrestle. A little.
And, Tim, my apologies. Didn't mean to judge you.
But that is the truth of the Truth, as I see it anyway. As the conversation went on, I realised that many (myself included) operate from a place of pain. Their human sometimes gets in the way of the brilliantly perfect spirit that we all are.
For me, I meet that sort of thing with my human. Better said, I meet it with my ego and oh how that can escalate!
Hmph. (don't know what to say)
I now know that what others say is what they own and comes from a place inside them.
I do not need to own any of it even if is an opinion about me. If I feel the pit, I can just make a note of that and explore later either through journaling, talking with a well trusted friend or whatever. I no longer need to take offense. It's not mine. Yippee.
Finally, some o' that peace that Jesus promised.
Ahhhhh.....
But not before forgiveness. Starting with me.
Who offends you? What things, words, or topics trip your trigger?
Forgive yourself and humbly choose again.
DO OVER!!
Be blessed.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Cheap Livin'
Ok, so here we are 3 weeks into 2010.
How're those resolutions going?
I made a mistake in spending on my last grocery bill so I'm calling a DO OVER and promise to do better. In doing so I want to open a forum of $$ saving techniques that work for you.
Did you ever see one of those magazines that has a cover story telling you how you can save a zillion dollars a zillion different ways, cut costs, etc etc etc?
Here's what I learned. Start by not buying the magazine!!! Jeeze. This is in the same category as those cover stories that promise you can lose 75lbs by next Tuesday; oh and try this cake recipe. REALLY?? So much irony surrounds.
With a little forethought and planning all of this can be avoided including the purchase of said magazine.
I make my menu for the week up on Sunday morning and go to the market Sunday afternoon. I stick to the list of only things I'll need for that week. This is a relatively newer practice for me. It makes me have to make do sometimes on Fri and Sat! But that's what livin' on the cheap is all about; having a really good think and making do.
I also stay the heck out of warehouse stores. There are only four people in my house. I do not need 700 of anything.
This is easy stuff if you just wrap your head around it a little.
There's a list of questions I fire at my clients and I didn't even pick up in a magazine. Let's smoke some wood...
Do you use nicotine products?
I quit in 05...NOT EASY!!! Think about health risk. Think about all that money. Even if its just a pack each week. That's what, seven bucks? That'll be $28 a month for a total of $336 a year. What if it's a pack a day? Seven dollars a DAY?? That'll be fifty a week, $200 a month and enough to fund a fat Roth IRA!
Buying lunch or bringing lunch?
This is a no brainer. Cheaper. Healthier. Brown baggier. (but better to get a reusable one)
Bottled freakin' water.
Really? I am guilty. I put it in my kids lunches. I use a Britta in the house. So if you need water to go, how 'bout a Britta at the office too? Okay. Fair enough. Reusable bottles are now on my list for the kids lunches. Jeeze, if our society isn't all about convenience. (myself included)
Buying coffee or carrying a to-go mug?
Mmmm Hmmmm....got a caffiene habit myself. But lets do some math here. Even if I am buying Wawa's cheapest $1.25 cup o' joe every day that adds up to $8.75 a week.
For easy math purposes let's say $9 x 52(weeks)= $468. That my friends is a new Coach bag once a year; twice if I shop the outlets! Or, in more practical terms that could be the window repair I've been ignoring, the new drapes 'cause those are just silly, 9 TANKS OF GAS, 3/4 of our family gym membership, a month of groceries etc....
How about splurgy things?
I love to be pampered. I love a spa experience. I love things that smell good.
But I do it on the cheap. I mix my own scrub with olive oil and sugar. I add essential oils to fragrance. There is not one product that moisturises me better! I light a canlde, some incense (nag champa!!) play some meditation music and soak the week away. Yes, once a week I do this. It totally quiets my head, centers me, and stops me from thinking that I need stuff to make me happy. Be creative with this one. You can spoil yourself without breaking the bank.
I also L-O-V-E a good hearty red wine.
And I mean LOVE! A great one to try is Gascon Malbec. It's Argentinian and I don't think I paid more than $12. for it. It pairs well with mild cheeses, peppery crackers and fruit. Mmmmm...I could make a meal out of that!!
Chocolate any one?
Every night there is a piece dark chocolate on my pillow.
Let's face it, a little indulgence goes a long way. Some days I wake up thinking about and waiting for that piece o' heaven. Costs me five bucks a month for that indulgence. By the way, did you know that chocolate and cocaine stimulate the same area of the brain? 'Nuff said, but perhaps I shouldn't have it before sleep??
Hair and nails?
I have to admit, I do spend on my hair. I haven't found a stylist on the cheap. My guy just really knows what to do so I work it in! Sorry kids, pasta week when Momma's hair gets done.
Manicures I do myself. Pedicures I do with my youngest daughter. Soaking feet together for a half hour (in the tub with sea salt, lavender, peppermint and olive oil) is just priceless and you won't get that in any salon!
Enough on splurges.
I have a book habit. I am a bit of a junkie. I have learned that you can get most any book you want reeeeaally cheap on Amazon.com. They have used, in good condition starting at $.01. Yes. ONE CENT! My most recent purchase was $.45 and had a Guardian Angel prayer card tucked in it as an added bonus.
Yes, my town has a library. You should see the new wing they built on. It was funded in large part by my fines alone. If you are disciplined enough, the library is a better bet over Amazon. For me, Amazon is the lesser of the two.
Consignment shops!
WOOT! Shoutin' out to my girl Melody who owns the new one down here. Let me tell you!
As part of the BIG DO OVER I've been redecorating my 17 y/o daughter's room. It is so different than EVER! All girled a glammed up with a fancy bed frame and chandelier. (I installed a chandelier, can you stand it?) We found the sweetest vanity table and so many many nicer and better made things than you would find say at your local retail establishment. This stuff has dove tail construction! And they nearly give it away! Try it. We did shop it all out and found our favorite stuff used and less expensive.
Energy?
I do try to be as energy conscious as possible. This is easy too. Shut it off!! I impose television and computer fasts in my house. Quitcher bellyachin and get the heck outside!
Our electric co has a great budget plan. Our oil company does too with repair and maintenance built right in. We also participate in a 'time of day' program. Most of our energy is used in off peak hours. It does add a savings.
Fitness?
Nothing beats a walk in the park. If you're like me though, one rainy day can turn into two weeks of no walk and a very sad Mookie. I joined the Y this year with the kids. Signed up for classes and we do some random swimming. Great fun and cheap! I actually landed there in search of good yoga. For less than the cost of membership to the yoga studio not only I, but WE get the whole dang Y. Life is good.
So, to be fair, those magazines do offer some good advice but I find it all rather lofty. Join coupon co-ops on the internet? Really? Who's got that kind of time?
You can buy eyeglass frames on the internet for as low as eight bucks, but don't you want to try them on?
How about some real life solutions to our real life everyday stuff? I welcome open dialogue on this one. Let's all really have a think and share. Let's get creative.
Let's focus on it.
I look forward to your responses!
How're those resolutions going?
I made a mistake in spending on my last grocery bill so I'm calling a DO OVER and promise to do better. In doing so I want to open a forum of $$ saving techniques that work for you.
Did you ever see one of those magazines that has a cover story telling you how you can save a zillion dollars a zillion different ways, cut costs, etc etc etc?
Here's what I learned. Start by not buying the magazine!!! Jeeze. This is in the same category as those cover stories that promise you can lose 75lbs by next Tuesday; oh and try this cake recipe. REALLY?? So much irony surrounds.
With a little forethought and planning all of this can be avoided including the purchase of said magazine.
I make my menu for the week up on Sunday morning and go to the market Sunday afternoon. I stick to the list of only things I'll need for that week. This is a relatively newer practice for me. It makes me have to make do sometimes on Fri and Sat! But that's what livin' on the cheap is all about; having a really good think and making do.
I also stay the heck out of warehouse stores. There are only four people in my house. I do not need 700 of anything.
This is easy stuff if you just wrap your head around it a little.
There's a list of questions I fire at my clients and I didn't even pick up in a magazine. Let's smoke some wood...
Do you use nicotine products?
I quit in 05...NOT EASY!!! Think about health risk. Think about all that money. Even if its just a pack each week. That's what, seven bucks? That'll be $28 a month for a total of $336 a year. What if it's a pack a day? Seven dollars a DAY?? That'll be fifty a week, $200 a month and enough to fund a fat Roth IRA!
Buying lunch or bringing lunch?
This is a no brainer. Cheaper. Healthier. Brown baggier. (but better to get a reusable one)
Bottled freakin' water.
Really? I am guilty. I put it in my kids lunches. I use a Britta in the house. So if you need water to go, how 'bout a Britta at the office too? Okay. Fair enough. Reusable bottles are now on my list for the kids lunches. Jeeze, if our society isn't all about convenience. (myself included)
Buying coffee or carrying a to-go mug?
Mmmm Hmmmm....got a caffiene habit myself. But lets do some math here. Even if I am buying Wawa's cheapest $1.25 cup o' joe every day that adds up to $8.75 a week.
For easy math purposes let's say $9 x 52(weeks)= $468. That my friends is a new Coach bag once a year; twice if I shop the outlets! Or, in more practical terms that could be the window repair I've been ignoring, the new drapes 'cause those are just silly, 9 TANKS OF GAS, 3/4 of our family gym membership, a month of groceries etc....
How about splurgy things?
I love to be pampered. I love a spa experience. I love things that smell good.
But I do it on the cheap. I mix my own scrub with olive oil and sugar. I add essential oils to fragrance. There is not one product that moisturises me better! I light a canlde, some incense (nag champa!!) play some meditation music and soak the week away. Yes, once a week I do this. It totally quiets my head, centers me, and stops me from thinking that I need stuff to make me happy. Be creative with this one. You can spoil yourself without breaking the bank.
I also L-O-V-E a good hearty red wine.
And I mean LOVE! A great one to try is Gascon Malbec. It's Argentinian and I don't think I paid more than $12. for it. It pairs well with mild cheeses, peppery crackers and fruit. Mmmmm...I could make a meal out of that!!
Chocolate any one?
Every night there is a piece dark chocolate on my pillow.
Let's face it, a little indulgence goes a long way. Some days I wake up thinking about and waiting for that piece o' heaven. Costs me five bucks a month for that indulgence. By the way, did you know that chocolate and cocaine stimulate the same area of the brain? 'Nuff said, but perhaps I shouldn't have it before sleep??
Hair and nails?
I have to admit, I do spend on my hair. I haven't found a stylist on the cheap. My guy just really knows what to do so I work it in! Sorry kids, pasta week when Momma's hair gets done.
Manicures I do myself. Pedicures I do with my youngest daughter. Soaking feet together for a half hour (in the tub with sea salt, lavender, peppermint and olive oil) is just priceless and you won't get that in any salon!
Enough on splurges.
I have a book habit. I am a bit of a junkie. I have learned that you can get most any book you want reeeeaally cheap on Amazon.com. They have used, in good condition starting at $.01. Yes. ONE CENT! My most recent purchase was $.45 and had a Guardian Angel prayer card tucked in it as an added bonus.
Yes, my town has a library. You should see the new wing they built on. It was funded in large part by my fines alone. If you are disciplined enough, the library is a better bet over Amazon. For me, Amazon is the lesser of the two.
Consignment shops!
WOOT! Shoutin' out to my girl Melody who owns the new one down here. Let me tell you!
As part of the BIG DO OVER I've been redecorating my 17 y/o daughter's room. It is so different than EVER! All girled a glammed up with a fancy bed frame and chandelier. (I installed a chandelier, can you stand it?) We found the sweetest vanity table and so many many nicer and better made things than you would find say at your local retail establishment. This stuff has dove tail construction! And they nearly give it away! Try it. We did shop it all out and found our favorite stuff used and less expensive.
Energy?
I do try to be as energy conscious as possible. This is easy too. Shut it off!! I impose television and computer fasts in my house. Quitcher bellyachin and get the heck outside!
Our electric co has a great budget plan. Our oil company does too with repair and maintenance built right in. We also participate in a 'time of day' program. Most of our energy is used in off peak hours. It does add a savings.
Fitness?
Nothing beats a walk in the park. If you're like me though, one rainy day can turn into two weeks of no walk and a very sad Mookie. I joined the Y this year with the kids. Signed up for classes and we do some random swimming. Great fun and cheap! I actually landed there in search of good yoga. For less than the cost of membership to the yoga studio not only I, but WE get the whole dang Y. Life is good.
So, to be fair, those magazines do offer some good advice but I find it all rather lofty. Join coupon co-ops on the internet? Really? Who's got that kind of time?
You can buy eyeglass frames on the internet for as low as eight bucks, but don't you want to try them on?
How about some real life solutions to our real life everyday stuff? I welcome open dialogue on this one. Let's all really have a think and share. Let's get creative.
Let's focus on it.
I look forward to your responses!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Ending or Just Begun?
Hmph!
Is what I say when I don't know what to say.
Right now I don't know what to say.
Or even to think. So if it's all the same to you I'm just gonna go ahead and work it out right here.
Hmph!
Endings. You know, endings.... graduations, leaving a job, moving to a new town, breakups, even death.
Are they nasty, sad, morose, mournful events?
Or are they just the cusp of bright new beginnings in disguise?
In the case of anyone of these scenarios one can certainly take away the intrinsic value of the lessons learned.
Far better it is to have gotten that education (in and out of the classroom), to have loved and been loved than not at all, to have worked with our minds or hands than be unemployed, or worse: unable!
Maybe along the way we may have learned a thing or two about ourselves and our own conduct. What is true about who I am and what I do is not always comfortable in relation to another.
So I make adjustments to suit that other. This has been with parent, siblings, bosses, friends, boyfriends, spouse, children. Sometimes there is an unavoidable falling out. When I am compared to "other reasonably thinking persons" or judged in any number of other ways....well....that....then....yea...Hmph!
I got nothin. Actually, I got plenty on judgement but never mind. That is a whole different topic.
And so when it ends like that...and lets face it, we've all experienced our share of messy endings, is this a sad thing or cause for celebration and dance? Even if it's not a hurtful ending; sad event or promise of something new?
In the case of moving, there all kinds of new adventures to be had and discoveries to be made. One meets new friends. Perhaps new opportunities are made available. This is a good thing.
When you leave a job, your slate is clean to go and start something new. That can be anything! Take a class. Learn a new trade. Possibilities here are endless.
In the case of a breakup, there becomes all this freed up time to be with yourself. It is a wonderful opportunity for practicing self love and self care. Meditation, journaling, lavender soaks, a nice long walk, or just that elusive pocket of breathing space fit nicely now.
When a loved one dies...well....I'm still working on the upside of that. What I can say is that my daughter was fortunate enough to have shed her diseased body and returned safely to spirit. That thought makes me happy and brings peace to my heart. I must add here that the death of Jesus had a VERY promising flip side. That would be His resurrection and ascension into heaven. VERY. BIG. UPSIDE.
So yea, I'm thinkin' that any of these events that seem so sad and grievous on the one side also have a very different flip side.
And coach Mike is right again. It's all what you choose to think about the event. The event in and of itself is neither here nor there. It's how we see it. (perspective, anyone?) It's how we label it that creates our belief about it.
Death was a win for Cait.
Break ups put me back in touch with Spirit.
Temporary move to AZ ... HANDS DOWN WIN!
(high five to all my desert flowers!)
Leaving Bath and Body Works...well...my heart pines now and again, but even that was a win. (I spent waaaay too much!)
I conclude that the matter of perspective has shown itself again and it is all of our own choosing.
I choose the bright new beginnings.
Can you call a DO OVER on a DO OVER in progress?
Hmph!
Is what I say when I don't know what to say.
Right now I don't know what to say.
Or even to think. So if it's all the same to you I'm just gonna go ahead and work it out right here.
Hmph!
Endings. You know, endings.... graduations, leaving a job, moving to a new town, breakups, even death.
Are they nasty, sad, morose, mournful events?
Or are they just the cusp of bright new beginnings in disguise?
In the case of anyone of these scenarios one can certainly take away the intrinsic value of the lessons learned.
Far better it is to have gotten that education (in and out of the classroom), to have loved and been loved than not at all, to have worked with our minds or hands than be unemployed, or worse: unable!
Maybe along the way we may have learned a thing or two about ourselves and our own conduct. What is true about who I am and what I do is not always comfortable in relation to another.
So I make adjustments to suit that other. This has been with parent, siblings, bosses, friends, boyfriends, spouse, children. Sometimes there is an unavoidable falling out. When I am compared to "other reasonably thinking persons" or judged in any number of other ways....well....that....then....yea...Hmph!
I got nothin. Actually, I got plenty on judgement but never mind. That is a whole different topic.
And so when it ends like that...and lets face it, we've all experienced our share of messy endings, is this a sad thing or cause for celebration and dance? Even if it's not a hurtful ending; sad event or promise of something new?
In the case of moving, there all kinds of new adventures to be had and discoveries to be made. One meets new friends. Perhaps new opportunities are made available. This is a good thing.
When you leave a job, your slate is clean to go and start something new. That can be anything! Take a class. Learn a new trade. Possibilities here are endless.
In the case of a breakup, there becomes all this freed up time to be with yourself. It is a wonderful opportunity for practicing self love and self care. Meditation, journaling, lavender soaks, a nice long walk, or just that elusive pocket of breathing space fit nicely now.
When a loved one dies...well....I'm still working on the upside of that. What I can say is that my daughter was fortunate enough to have shed her diseased body and returned safely to spirit. That thought makes me happy and brings peace to my heart. I must add here that the death of Jesus had a VERY promising flip side. That would be His resurrection and ascension into heaven. VERY. BIG. UPSIDE.
So yea, I'm thinkin' that any of these events that seem so sad and grievous on the one side also have a very different flip side.
And coach Mike is right again. It's all what you choose to think about the event. The event in and of itself is neither here nor there. It's how we see it. (perspective, anyone?) It's how we label it that creates our belief about it.
Death was a win for Cait.
Break ups put me back in touch with Spirit.
Temporary move to AZ ... HANDS DOWN WIN!
(high five to all my desert flowers!)
Leaving Bath and Body Works...well...my heart pines now and again, but even that was a win. (I spent waaaay too much!)
I conclude that the matter of perspective has shown itself again and it is all of our own choosing.
I choose the bright new beginnings.
Can you call a DO OVER on a DO OVER in progress?
Hmph!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Earthquake Victims
Today I am inspired by a family that I know (and L-O-V-E) whose kids ran to their piggy banks to see how much they had to send help our brothers and sisters suffering in Haiti.
What if we all, just for a time, became that childlike?
What if we all put thought behind us and just acted with our best intentions and the best we had to give?
What if we didn't care who
it was that was hurting, just that someone was hurting?
What if we could live and love without abandon like children do?
All I have to say today is that I think that we as Americans can skip the Starbucks for just one day and send the 5 bucks to where it's really needed.
Think of your email contacts.
Think of your facebook friend list.
Who follows you on Twitter?
I don't mean to be preachy but....think if each one of those sent just 5 bucks....
Well....enough said.
Me personally, I am sending Piles of Love, White Light Energy to the Haitians and some cash to organizations already in place. There's no need to reinvent the wheel, just lend a hand to those with the wheel.
The following organizations are already organized and helping.
American Red Cross --- redcross.org
Doctors Without Borders ---doctorswithoutborders.org
UNICEF-USA --- unicefusa.org
Mercy Corps --- donate.mercycorps.org
I am not very technologically savvy so please excuse the lack of links and feel free to offer me instruction!!
Be well.
Be blessed.
Be loved.
Be grateful.
God bless us all.
What if we all, just for a time, became that childlike?
What if we all put thought behind us and just acted with our best intentions and the best we had to give?
What if we didn't care who
it was that was hurting, just that someone was hurting?
What if we could live and love without abandon like children do?
All I have to say today is that I think that we as Americans can skip the Starbucks for just one day and send the 5 bucks to where it's really needed.
Think of your email contacts.
Think of your facebook friend list.
Who follows you on Twitter?
I don't mean to be preachy but....think if each one of those sent just 5 bucks....
Well....enough said.
Me personally, I am sending Piles of Love, White Light Energy to the Haitians and some cash to organizations already in place. There's no need to reinvent the wheel, just lend a hand to those with the wheel.
The following organizations are already organized and helping.
American Red Cross --- redcross.org
Doctors Without Borders ---doctorswithoutborders.org
UNICEF-USA --- unicefusa.org
Mercy Corps --- donate.mercycorps.org
I am not very technologically savvy so please excuse the lack of links and feel free to offer me instruction!!
Be well.
Be blessed.
Be loved.
Be grateful.
God bless us all.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Breathe.....
Ahhhh, 5:50 am.
It is my most favorite time of the day. See, that is when my son's alarm goes off. He sets it early so he can hit the snooze. At one time I was baffled by this practice. Why the heck not just set the alarm for when you plan to actually get out of bed? Why do they even MAKE snooze alarms? I did not get it.
Now when I hear his alarm it represents the 10 minute warning to my own.
And let me tell you about those glorious ten minutes.
I spend exactly three of them going over my day and it goes something like this:
Okay what day what day what day...oh yea today is Friday. Hmmmm, meet with that kid at one, get a hold of Caiti's friend, have a cd for her, oh yea, my office mate would really benefit from it too, copy the cd. Take my coat to the dry cleaners, Gallagher sure was funny last week but what a wreck my coat is, wonder how Marie's doing, gotta pay the oil bill, OMG gotta mail that box to my brother! That baby's gotta be three months old by now! I stink so bad at these things! Have a li'l something to send to my Aussie friends too. For Christmas. Mmm Hmmm...Christmas. Good thing I never buy calendars as gifts. Maybe I should blog about procrastinating. Yea, another time. Chicken salad in lettuce cups for dinner. Quick fridge inventory. Good, I have the chicken AND the lettuce. Go me. Oh crap! Still out of olive oil. Maybe I'll squeeze Shop Rite in. Leaving debit card home tho. I ONLY need olive oil! How bout work work work work hmmmmm....oh yea, call on existing clients for Happy New Year. I'm good, it's still January. Set appointments for next week, register for that writer's workshop on Wed. OMG Wed! Check and see if I can move Wed morning appt so I can spend some time with a very dear friend. Make sure my son called the scout patrol. Why do their responsibilities turn into mine? Ah...good for him, he's finally a patrol leader. Check in w/my daughter's guidance counselor. All is well. Just have to check. Aunt coming out of hospital tomorrow, have flowers/card ready when she gets there. Some one's GOT to pair those socks already, maybe I'll get to that today or maybe that should go on the rotating chore chart. OMG!! My turn to feed the dogs......got it! This should be a great day.
And then........
NOTHING.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I do not go back to sleep. I spend seven minutes in that quiet corner of my mind. My mind, though, is not really accurate. The above is how my mind is all the time.
I go to that "other" place inside. This is meditation. Some people picture a beachy place or mountains. I did too when I first learned to meditate. I still do.
But not in those very special seven minutes of my day. That is when I hit my restart. I listen for my breath. I pay very close attention to anything my body has to tell me. It is when/where I reconnect with my Source. I express my gratitude for the new day. It is of course, yet another opportunity for a DO OVER. Some days I find the Lord's Prayer very helpful in getting me "there"; that place of "nowhere". I have a need for this sort of space in my day. Without it, things often go awry in a very out of control way. Things tend to go awry sometimes anyway, but with some space, I find I can breathe my way through most anything.
Because, after the seven minutes typically it's very nutty and I'm referring to just the amount of time between waking and getting the kids off to school. I'll use this very morning as an example.....
Ahh...5:50, the aforementioned THINK, 7 minutes of blissful nothing, and 6:00 Mookie's scratchin' on my door. I outsmart him by entering the bathroom through my bedroom instead of the hall entrance. Yes I DO take pride in outsmarting my dog. He's part shepherd. Very smart and often challenges me to a contest of smarts. That's a whole nother blog though. In the bathroom, AUUGGHH!! No paper!! CRAP! (literally) Run down to the powder room. Trip over the dog. Dog is now so confused and stalks me outside the powder room. "She never uses that one at this time of day" Duck into the laundry room to run the dryer on the same load for the second time. Make a mental note to call the dryer guy. Head out to feed pets. Dog trips me again. This time I bang my arm on the corner of the wall entering the kitchen. Nice bruise. Do the "OW dance". Feed the dogs. Cat is ballistic as usual. He cannot understand why "thoooose two" (his words) get fed before he does. So he does the winding between my legs dance until I am actually dancing to avoid tripping on him too. Pull out the cat food box. Lid wasn't tight. Cat food all over the floor. REALLY???? Fuming now and cat still aggressively rubbing on me and meowing his head off in a very cynical, almost mocking Jack Nicholson sort of way. Clean up the food. Put his dish on the counter. Scooping food into....cat jumps up, hits my hand, food on the floor again. REALLY, BILL???? R-E-A-L-L-Y??? Cat sneers. I swear. Let the dogs out.
Okay, the kids. ACK! I promised pancakes today. Yes, cooked breakfast daily. When child with car thinks its a good idea to go out to breakfast in place of first period, child gets keys taken and breakfast cooked at home. It makes perfect sense to me.
Shit! We are out of Bisquick! Pull out the cookbook and have at the scratch recipe. (it truly is just as easy and much tastier.) Open the fridge. No milk but man that Corona is looking mighty good right now. I'll just use half and half with water. (it worked!!)
Made the lunches in between flipping the flap jacks, listened to today's thought from our "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" calendar, took a phone call, and got the cherubs off to school. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Ahhhh....I just poured my coffee. Had to have the french vanilla creamer because I used all of the half and half in the pancakes.
I am very glad for these few moments of peace.
There is still a whole day in front of me. It is very likely that I will carve out time tonight to find that space again. I actually do schedule mandatory "self care" time on Friday nights. It's my date with me. Life is just too hectic. Sometimes even in the first hour of the day.
Maybe slowing down is not an option at this juncture. The kids, the pets, the friends, the house, the work, the self care are a lot to deal with. Certainly finding small pockets of breathing space is imperative. For me, anyway.
I'm going back for another 7.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I wonder what my son does with his extra 10 minutes?
It is my most favorite time of the day. See, that is when my son's alarm goes off. He sets it early so he can hit the snooze. At one time I was baffled by this practice. Why the heck not just set the alarm for when you plan to actually get out of bed? Why do they even MAKE snooze alarms? I did not get it.
Now when I hear his alarm it represents the 10 minute warning to my own.
And let me tell you about those glorious ten minutes.
I spend exactly three of them going over my day and it goes something like this:
Okay what day what day what day...oh yea today is Friday. Hmmmm, meet with that kid at one, get a hold of Caiti's friend, have a cd for her, oh yea, my office mate would really benefit from it too, copy the cd. Take my coat to the dry cleaners, Gallagher sure was funny last week but what a wreck my coat is, wonder how Marie's doing, gotta pay the oil bill, OMG gotta mail that box to my brother! That baby's gotta be three months old by now! I stink so bad at these things! Have a li'l something to send to my Aussie friends too. For Christmas. Mmm Hmmm...Christmas. Good thing I never buy calendars as gifts. Maybe I should blog about procrastinating. Yea, another time. Chicken salad in lettuce cups for dinner. Quick fridge inventory. Good, I have the chicken AND the lettuce. Go me. Oh crap! Still out of olive oil. Maybe I'll squeeze Shop Rite in. Leaving debit card home tho. I ONLY need olive oil! How bout work work work work hmmmmm....oh yea, call on existing clients for Happy New Year. I'm good, it's still January. Set appointments for next week, register for that writer's workshop on Wed. OMG Wed! Check and see if I can move Wed morning appt so I can spend some time with a very dear friend. Make sure my son called the scout patrol. Why do their responsibilities turn into mine? Ah...good for him, he's finally a patrol leader. Check in w/my daughter's guidance counselor. All is well. Just have to check. Aunt coming out of hospital tomorrow, have flowers/card ready when she gets there. Some one's GOT to pair those socks already, maybe I'll get to that today or maybe that should go on the rotating chore chart. OMG!! My turn to feed the dogs......got it! This should be a great day.
And then........
NOTHING.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I do not go back to sleep. I spend seven minutes in that quiet corner of my mind. My mind, though, is not really accurate. The above is how my mind is all the time.
I go to that "other" place inside. This is meditation. Some people picture a beachy place or mountains. I did too when I first learned to meditate. I still do.
But not in those very special seven minutes of my day. That is when I hit my restart. I listen for my breath. I pay very close attention to anything my body has to tell me. It is when/where I reconnect with my Source. I express my gratitude for the new day. It is of course, yet another opportunity for a DO OVER. Some days I find the Lord's Prayer very helpful in getting me "there"; that place of "nowhere". I have a need for this sort of space in my day. Without it, things often go awry in a very out of control way. Things tend to go awry sometimes anyway, but with some space, I find I can breathe my way through most anything.
Because, after the seven minutes typically it's very nutty and I'm referring to just the amount of time between waking and getting the kids off to school. I'll use this very morning as an example.....
Ahh...5:50, the aforementioned THINK, 7 minutes of blissful nothing, and 6:00 Mookie's scratchin' on my door. I outsmart him by entering the bathroom through my bedroom instead of the hall entrance. Yes I DO take pride in outsmarting my dog. He's part shepherd. Very smart and often challenges me to a contest of smarts. That's a whole nother blog though. In the bathroom, AUUGGHH!! No paper!! CRAP! (literally) Run down to the powder room. Trip over the dog. Dog is now so confused and stalks me outside the powder room. "She never uses that one at this time of day" Duck into the laundry room to run the dryer on the same load for the second time. Make a mental note to call the dryer guy. Head out to feed pets. Dog trips me again. This time I bang my arm on the corner of the wall entering the kitchen. Nice bruise. Do the "OW dance". Feed the dogs. Cat is ballistic as usual. He cannot understand why "thoooose two" (his words) get fed before he does. So he does the winding between my legs dance until I am actually dancing to avoid tripping on him too. Pull out the cat food box. Lid wasn't tight. Cat food all over the floor. REALLY???? Fuming now and cat still aggressively rubbing on me and meowing his head off in a very cynical, almost mocking Jack Nicholson sort of way. Clean up the food. Put his dish on the counter. Scooping food into....cat jumps up, hits my hand, food on the floor again. REALLY, BILL???? R-E-A-L-L-Y??? Cat sneers. I swear. Let the dogs out.
Okay, the kids. ACK! I promised pancakes today. Yes, cooked breakfast daily. When child with car thinks its a good idea to go out to breakfast in place of first period, child gets keys taken and breakfast cooked at home. It makes perfect sense to me.
Shit! We are out of Bisquick! Pull out the cookbook and have at the scratch recipe. (it truly is just as easy and much tastier.) Open the fridge. No milk but man that Corona is looking mighty good right now. I'll just use half and half with water. (it worked!!)
Made the lunches in between flipping the flap jacks, listened to today's thought from our "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" calendar, took a phone call, and got the cherubs off to school. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Ahhhh....I just poured my coffee. Had to have the french vanilla creamer because I used all of the half and half in the pancakes.
I am very glad for these few moments of peace.
There is still a whole day in front of me. It is very likely that I will carve out time tonight to find that space again. I actually do schedule mandatory "self care" time on Friday nights. It's my date with me. Life is just too hectic. Sometimes even in the first hour of the day.
Maybe slowing down is not an option at this juncture. The kids, the pets, the friends, the house, the work, the self care are a lot to deal with. Certainly finding small pockets of breathing space is imperative. For me, anyway.
I'm going back for another 7.
Deliberate. Empty. Space.
I wonder what my son does with his extra 10 minutes?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
C'mon and THINK!
I am a little fired up this morning and I just might rant.
Bear with me and again, keep what resonates and leave the rest!
I mean no offense to anyone. These are just ramblings of my observations, thoughts and opinions.
I decided I am going to write the book. I have an outline, the note cards, and volumes of journals and all for a good while! I've just been hesitant. I don't have a degree in anything. Been an at home mom for years mixed in with some odd music jobs and the disastrous year I spent in retail. (Bath and Body Works-CRIPES! Spent more than I made!) I am now a practicing financial consultant and learning that as I go. Really...a book? Me?
Well let me tell you. Yes. Me. It's time and here's how I know. I went to see the comedian Gallagher last night. While most of his comedy is intelligent and cerebral, for example, seriously, why don't all of the _omb words rhyme? tomb, comb, bomb? And why DOES my teenager say something is "sick nasty" when indeed they mean it's good? Who knows? Ultimately, this guy Gallagher renders his opinion on things he thinks about, thinks up various ways to smash fruit, vegetables and all other manner of condiments, gooey stuff, and syrups ET CE TERA,
AND PEOPLE PAY TO SEE HIM TO DO IT!
REALLY???
His overall theme was about thinking. He encouraged his audience to think independently and creatively. This message has been presented to me in several ways in just the last 18-24 months. Sometimes the message came from books I picked up, sometimes from influential people I've met in Primerica, once from my life coach and last night from Gallagher. BTW, this is how the Universe usually communicates with me. The same message is sent again and again until finally I pick it up and act on it.
Some books I've picked up and highly recommend are THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill. Dale Carnegie hired Mr. Hill to go out and interview all of the great millionaires of the day who built their empires from nothing. Hill was paid a life's wages by Carnegie to find out the common denominator among these men and their success. Thus the title of the book.
On two separate occasions I had the great fortune of participating in an intimately set Q & A with 2 of my company's pioneers, founders, and cash machines. [both women ;)] Both began their careers and base much of their success on the principles in this book. One of them, and pay attention here, this is big. One of them gave strong advice. She said, "Go buy this book. Put it on your nightstand. Even if you do nothing else, pick it up and read the cover once in the morning and once at night. At least get the message that you have to THINK!"
Another really good one is Dr. Wayne Dyer's CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS---CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
This is a collection of 81 essays. Each expands upon each of the 81 verses of the ancient text, the Tao. I could write volumes about this after having read and re-read it a number of times.
Please don't misread here. This is not about religion or one certain philosophy. The Bible is a good one too. Crack that baby open and have a look and a think for yourself as to what God is saying.
I was inspired to do this while teaching Sunday School and after reading CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD 1,2,& 3 by Neal Donald Walsh.
The Koran. The Kaballah....these two I have only skimmed.
The Secret. The Law of Attraction. The Moses Code. My point here is that all of these have similar themes and slight variations on the same message. Though many consider it all New Age, ain't none of it new. Some is presented in shiny new packaging but there is nothing new under the sun. Especially thinking!
I hired a life coach early in 2009 for many reasons. I find life coaches to be more proactive and forthcoming with coping tools and skills rather than just talk therapists. I've tried both. This is just my preference. Anyway, in late fall of last year I was having a very tough time with what we call "the sads" in my house. I checked in with Mike and he reminded me that missing Caiti and being sad about it was only one part of the story. The other part of course, was her love, her light, the beautiful way she walked in the world and all of the happy memories we shared. Then he asked me which part of the story I'd rather focus on and THINK about!
HMPH!!
I gotta tell ya, at first I had a ton of trouble with this.
I was insulted and almost angry that he would suggest the depth of my grief could be changed by simply changing my mind about it. REALLY????
Later I found that this concept works. Change the focus. Choose a new thought. All manner of thoughts are available all the time. So pick something different to think about. It truly is that simple. Simple and easy are not, however, interchangeable. I do remind myself, sometimes out loud, "Change the thought please! I need a better one than that!!" All things with practice. The sads still come but I am now able to navigate my way through them much easier.
There is a point here. Last night Gallagher went on about independent, creative thought. It is what this country was founded and built on. Good stuff. He lamented that it is rarely seen in America today. We send our children to school to learn to conform. That's a whole 'nother blog though.
Back to the book. I'm going to write and share all these stories and all these thoughts. I do not have a degree, did not spend hours digesting text after text at an institution of higher learning, nor are there any letters after my name. I did finish 3 years of a Music Ed degree, but it hardly applies here.
However, I did get my learnin' on in the school of life. I do have stories to share and opinions to render that just might resonate with someone else. Some of these are just too much of a gift to hold onto. That is the thought I am sticking with.
What thoughts hold you back? What have you always thought about doing but haven't yet? Maybe it is as simple as choosing a new thought about it.
Even Aretha Franklin reminds us to, "C'mon and THINK."
Bear with me and again, keep what resonates and leave the rest!
I mean no offense to anyone. These are just ramblings of my observations, thoughts and opinions.
I decided I am going to write the book. I have an outline, the note cards, and volumes of journals and all for a good while! I've just been hesitant. I don't have a degree in anything. Been an at home mom for years mixed in with some odd music jobs and the disastrous year I spent in retail. (Bath and Body Works-CRIPES! Spent more than I made!) I am now a practicing financial consultant and learning that as I go. Really...a book? Me?
Well let me tell you. Yes. Me. It's time and here's how I know. I went to see the comedian Gallagher last night. While most of his comedy is intelligent and cerebral, for example, seriously, why don't all of the _omb words rhyme? tomb, comb, bomb? And why DOES my teenager say something is "sick nasty" when indeed they mean it's good? Who knows? Ultimately, this guy Gallagher renders his opinion on things he thinks about, thinks up various ways to smash fruit, vegetables and all other manner of condiments, gooey stuff, and syrups ET CE TERA,
AND PEOPLE PAY TO SEE HIM TO DO IT!
REALLY???
His overall theme was about thinking. He encouraged his audience to think independently and creatively. This message has been presented to me in several ways in just the last 18-24 months. Sometimes the message came from books I picked up, sometimes from influential people I've met in Primerica, once from my life coach and last night from Gallagher. BTW, this is how the Universe usually communicates with me. The same message is sent again and again until finally I pick it up and act on it.
Some books I've picked up and highly recommend are THINK AND GROW RICH by Napoleon Hill. Dale Carnegie hired Mr. Hill to go out and interview all of the great millionaires of the day who built their empires from nothing. Hill was paid a life's wages by Carnegie to find out the common denominator among these men and their success. Thus the title of the book.
On two separate occasions I had the great fortune of participating in an intimately set Q & A with 2 of my company's pioneers, founders, and cash machines. [both women ;)] Both began their careers and base much of their success on the principles in this book. One of them, and pay attention here, this is big. One of them gave strong advice. She said, "Go buy this book. Put it on your nightstand. Even if you do nothing else, pick it up and read the cover once in the morning and once at night. At least get the message that you have to THINK!"
Another really good one is Dr. Wayne Dyer's CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS---CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
This is a collection of 81 essays. Each expands upon each of the 81 verses of the ancient text, the Tao. I could write volumes about this after having read and re-read it a number of times.
Please don't misread here. This is not about religion or one certain philosophy. The Bible is a good one too. Crack that baby open and have a look and a think for yourself as to what God is saying.
I was inspired to do this while teaching Sunday School and after reading CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD 1,2,& 3 by Neal Donald Walsh.
The Koran. The Kaballah....these two I have only skimmed.
The Secret. The Law of Attraction. The Moses Code. My point here is that all of these have similar themes and slight variations on the same message. Though many consider it all New Age, ain't none of it new. Some is presented in shiny new packaging but there is nothing new under the sun. Especially thinking!
I hired a life coach early in 2009 for many reasons. I find life coaches to be more proactive and forthcoming with coping tools and skills rather than just talk therapists. I've tried both. This is just my preference. Anyway, in late fall of last year I was having a very tough time with what we call "the sads" in my house. I checked in with Mike and he reminded me that missing Caiti and being sad about it was only one part of the story. The other part of course, was her love, her light, the beautiful way she walked in the world and all of the happy memories we shared. Then he asked me which part of the story I'd rather focus on and THINK about!
HMPH!!
I gotta tell ya, at first I had a ton of trouble with this.
I was insulted and almost angry that he would suggest the depth of my grief could be changed by simply changing my mind about it. REALLY????
Later I found that this concept works. Change the focus. Choose a new thought. All manner of thoughts are available all the time. So pick something different to think about. It truly is that simple. Simple and easy are not, however, interchangeable. I do remind myself, sometimes out loud, "Change the thought please! I need a better one than that!!" All things with practice. The sads still come but I am now able to navigate my way through them much easier.
There is a point here. Last night Gallagher went on about independent, creative thought. It is what this country was founded and built on. Good stuff. He lamented that it is rarely seen in America today. We send our children to school to learn to conform. That's a whole 'nother blog though.
Back to the book. I'm going to write and share all these stories and all these thoughts. I do not have a degree, did not spend hours digesting text after text at an institution of higher learning, nor are there any letters after my name. I did finish 3 years of a Music Ed degree, but it hardly applies here.
However, I did get my learnin' on in the school of life. I do have stories to share and opinions to render that just might resonate with someone else. Some of these are just too much of a gift to hold onto. That is the thought I am sticking with.
What thoughts hold you back? What have you always thought about doing but haven't yet? Maybe it is as simple as choosing a new thought about it.
Even Aretha Franklin reminds us to, "C'mon and THINK."
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